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BELGIAN PRIME MINISTER BECOMES FIRST CREEPY PRESIDENT OF THE E.U.

Brussels, Belgium – The European Union is perhaps one of the most remarkable developments in the history of the human species. The cooperation between so many disparate nations with so many different identities, languages, and races that have for centuries engaged in brutal bloodshed on a scale no other place on the world has seen is truly a marvel. It was less than seventy years ago that the bloodiest and most brutal conflict in the history of the species originated and was functionally ended on that continent, taking with it the lives of over sixty million people, a continent that now shares open borders.

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OBAMA SLIGHTLY INJURED AFTER BOW TO ROOM SERVICE RESULTS IN FALL