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EVERYONE ELSE
BELGIAN PRIME MINISTER BECOMES FIRST CREEPY PRESIDENT OF THE E.U.
IRAQI MILITARY CONTRACTOR IN HOT WATER AFTER DESTROYING RECYCLABLES
HUNGRY RUSSIANS STILL TRYING TO NORMALIZE CANNIBALISM
ANCIENT PERSIAN ARMY FINALLY SHOWS UP FOR WORK
MILLIONS CELEBRATE LOUSY CONSTRUCTION OF BERLIN WALL
FRANCE TRIES TO CALM CONCERNS ABOUT DESIGNER NUCLEAR REACTORS
NIGERIAN SPACE AGENCY GETS NEW ROCKS TO THROW AT THE MOON
NOTHING REALLY LOST AS SWINE FLU SHUTS UKRANIAN SCHOOLS
NAZI MEMOIR MAY REVEAL IF HITLER WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE HOLOCAUST
GIANT SHARK THREATENS TO DEVOUR AUSTRALIA
AFGHANISTAN WAR ZONE DECLARED UNSAFE AFTER AMERICAN SOLDIERS KILLED
SARKOZY FINALLY STARTING TO GET OVER OBAMA
ALBINO HUNT COMES UNDER FIRE IN AFRICA
AUSTRALIA GOES ROGUE AND SIDES WITH THE TERROISTS
RUSSIA PREPARES TO NUKE THE REST OF THE WORLD
SWEDEN TEMPORARILY KNOCKED OFF THE PLANET
AMERICANS URGED TO STOP SENDING JUNK FOOD TO STARVING PEOPLE
FRANCE THROWN INTO CHAOS AFTER GIANT DINOSAUR FOOTPRINTS FOUND
INDONESIAN EARTHQUAKE KILLS MOSTLY JERKS
PHILIPPINES RIDING THE WAVE OF TROPICAL STORM KETSANA
MADELEINE MCCANN PARENTS PLAN TO ‘JUST GET LOST’ DURING TRIP TO PORTUGAL
CANADIAN OFFICIALS EXPECT NATIVES WILL NEED BODY BAGS NO MATTER WHAT
TERRORISTS BEING STARVED OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME
FRENCH TO FORGO MONEY IN FAVOUR OF SMILES
SOMEONE FINALLY LISTENS TO THE MAORI
SUDAN FINES WOMAN FOR WEARING CLASHING PANTS IN PUBLIC
TYPOGRAPHY TERRORISTS NABBED TRYING TO BOMB IKEA HEADQUARTERS
LIBYA VOICES WORLD’S DESIRE TO DISSOLVE SWITZERLAND
SEA TURTLES THREATENING CARIBBEAN AFTER BAHAMAS OUTLAWS KILLING
SON SUES TO CLEAR STALIN’S NAME
SOUTH KOREAN MISSILE GOES ASTRAY AMIDST GIGGLING FROM THE NORTH
HAMID KARZAI ACCUSED OF RIGGING ELECTION BETTER THAN OPPONENT
EUROPE SHUDDERS AS ANGELA MERKEL DECLARED MOST POWERFUL WOMAN
LOCKERBIE BOMBER FREE AND READY TO GO AGAIN
CAPITALISM FINALLY WINNING THE TOILET PAPER WAR
TALIBAN STRUGGLING AFTER DEATH OF LEADER
WORLD’S OLDEST MAN LAID TO REST DESPITE FEEBLE PROTESTS
MAN DIES TRYING TO SET WORLD RECORD FOR SPINNING IN CIRCLES
CHARLES TAYLOR BECOMES INTERIOR DESIGNER; SAYS HUMAN SKULLS ARE IN
NEW ZEALAND COMES WITHIN RICHTER POINTS OF A TSUNAMI
IRANIAN DEATH TOLL REMAINS UNKNOWN BUT BELIEVED TO BE MOSTLY GAY
AFRICA TO END TYRANNY AND CORRUPTION AFTER OBAMA SPEECH
POPE COMES OUT AGAINST SPAYING AND NEUTERING PETS
MILITARY OFFICIALS WARN AFGHANISTAN RUNNING OUT OF AFGHANS
NOT EVEN PRESIDENT WANTS TO LIVE IN HONDURAS
IRAQ CELEBRATE VICTORY OVER AMERICAN INVADERS
IRANIAN AUTHORITIES PIONEER MULTIPLE VOTE SYSTEM
SOUTH AFRICANS “SHOCKED” OVER RAPE SURVEY RESULTS
IRANIAN PUBLIC STILL EXCITED ABOUT ELECTION RESULTS
U.S. TO DO NOTHING ABOUT POSSIBLE NORTH KOREAN ATTACK ON PEARL HARBOR
YACHT COMPLETED, RUSSIAN BILLIONAIRE PLANS GIANT SPACE LASER
NETANYAHU MAKES PLANS TO SUMMER IN NEW PALESTINIAN STATE
EVERYONE WINS IN IRANIAN ELECTION
AIR FRANCE CRASH INVESTIGATION HIGHLIGHTS DANGER OF BLACK BOX DEPENDENCE
THOUSANDS GO UNRAPED AND UNABUSED IN IRISH CATHOLIC SCHOOLS
NIGERIA FREES DOZENS OF PRISONERS THROUGH LOOPHOLE IN CEILING
AIR FRANCE LOSES PLANE BUT SECURES LUGGAGE
ABU GHARIB PHOTOS SHOW RAPE AND ABUSE MUCH LIKE U.S. PRISONS
NETHERLANDS LOOKING TO IMPORT PRISONERS AS CRIME DRIES UP
IRAN ROCKS THE CASBAH WITH WARSHIPS IN INTERNATIONAL WATERS
WORLD SHOCKED AS NORTH KOREA DROPS THE N-BOMB
IRISH FINALLY ADMIT ACCENT WAS ALL ABOUT THE CHICKS
ANNUAL MONARCHY POLL SHOWS QUEEN ELIZABETH LOSING GROUND
BURMESE OFFICIALS ACCUSED OF RUSHING TRIAL, ABSOLVED OF MASS MURDER
POPE BENEDICT PROMOTES EMBRACE OF THE HOLOCAUST
LATE SNOWFALL BURNS AFGHAN CIVILIANS
HUNDREDS KILLED IN POORLY DESIGNED NO-FIRE ZONE
LAOS DECIDES TO STOP KILLING PREGNANT WOMEN
41 DEAD IN KILLER TURKISH WEDDING
EGYPT STARTS BUTCHERY IN SWINE HOLOCAUST
NORWAY TO RAPE AND PILLAGE FUTURE BY BANNING CARS
IRASCIBLE IRAN NOW GOING AFTER PEACE LOVING EGYPT
RACIST COUNTRIES WALK OUT ON RACIST AHMADINEJAD SPEECH
BRITISH GOVERNMENT CONSIDERS CONVERTING BIG BEN TO DIGITAL
CANADIANS TO COMPLETELY WIPE AWAY MEMORY OF BILLY BOB THORNTON
MEXICAN OFFICIALS TO REDUCE CARTEL DEATH TOLL BY IGNORING MURDERS
MAMA MIA! HOLY WEEK EARTHQUAKE KILLS DOZENS IN HOLY LAND
REPORTS INDICATE CARLA BRUNI DEPRESSED AS MICHELLE OBAMA MOVES ON
JAPANESE OFFICIALS LAUGH OFF KOREAN ROCKET LAUNCH AS ‘KIA-TASIC’
LATIN WORLD EMBRACES FRITZLMANIA
MEXICAN MORTICIANS MAKING A KILLING AS DRUG WAR SPIRALS
FRITZL CASE SPARKS GLOBAL INCESTUOUS EMBRACE
JOSEF FRITZL PLEADS GUILTY BEFORE REALIZING PRISONS DO NOT HAVE CELLARS
POPE DISCOURAGES CONDOMS IN EFFORT TO CULL THE HERD
TOURISM SURGES AS NEW ZEALAND’S WOMEN GROW LARGER BREASTS
SUDANESE KIDNAPPERS BOOTED FROM TERRORIST NETWORK AFTER LAME KIDNAPPING
RUSSIA DEPLOYING BOMBERS LIKE IT’S 1959
POOR COUNTRIES GOING ABSOLUTELY AND TOTALLY INSANE
GERMANS UP THE ANTE FOR AMERICAN SCHOOL SHOOTERS
SCIENTISTS FEAR CHIMPANZEE UPRISING IMMINENT
TENSION RISES AS NORTH KOREA REFUSES TO CALL SOUTH
CANADIAN BORDER PATROLS INCREASE AS AMERICAN REFUGEES FLEE
NO ONE SUPRISED AS HUGO CHAVEZ REACTS TO ECONOMIC CRISIS WITH DICTATORIAL RULE
SECRET GERMAN POLICE OPERATION ROUTES OUT NEO-NAZIS
NICARAGUA FIGHTING OFF VAMPIRE INVASION
BRITISH POLICE DECIDE TO ENCOURAGE CHAOS ON STREETS
U.S. THROWING SUPPORT BEHIND IRANIAN NUCLEAR PROGRAM
IRAN LOOKS TO HOLLYWOOD TO HEAL WOUNDS WITH U.S.
RIGHT WING ATTACKS OBAMA PLAN TO EVICT SOLDIERS FROM IRAQ
IDF CLAIMS THAT EVERYTHING ANYONE DOES IS TERRORISM
IRAQI OFFICIALS CLAIM ABU GHARIB NOW A PRISONER PARADISE
FRENCH NAVY CLAIMS BRITISH SUBMARINE DRIVING ON WRONG SIDE OF THE OCEAN
AUSTRALIAN WILDFIRE DEATH TOLL RISES AS RESIDENTS UNWILLING TO GET OUT OF THE WAY
OSCAR MAYER OFFICIALS PITCHING BACON AS PATH TO MIDDLE EAST PEACE
ISRAEL ANNOUNCES GAZA CEASEFIRE JUST IN TIME FOR OBAMA INAGURATION
WORLD YAWNS AS ISRAEL INVADES GAZA
ISRAELI ATTACKS ON GAZA HIGHLIGHT FAILURE OF CEASE FIRE
POPE’S APPEAL FOR MID-EAST PEACE FALLS ON SURPRISINGLY DEAF EARS
WORLD WATCHES AS CANADA IS BLANKETED IN MYSTERIOUS WHITE POWDER
ROMANIA REMOVES THEORY OF EVOLUTION FROM SCHOOLS; MOVES CLOSER TO STONE AGE
GREEK RIOTS SPARK GLOBAL REALIZATION THAT GREECE IS STILL A COUNTRY
CANADIAN POLITICIANS ESCHEW DEMOCRACY IN FAVOUR OF WINNING
AMERICA CLAIMS INDIAN TERRORIST ATTACKS AS THEIR OWN
ICELANDIC PROTESTS TURN VIOLENT; GOVERNMENT MAKES PLANS TO SELL NATION
U.N. OFFICIALS PROPOSE CONTRACTING MEMBERSHIP, REDUCING NUMBER OF COUNTRIES
MADELEINE MCCANN RENEWS CALL FOR HELP FINDING PARENTS
KIM JONG-IL NOT DEAD, DECLARES NORTH KOREA ONE NATION UNDER HIP-HOP
SWEDISH PIRATES OUTRAGED OVER NEW ANTI-PIRACY LAW
OSAMA BIN LADEN TO PAY TRIBUTE TO RONALD REAGAN IN NEWEST VIDEO
PSYCHIC PREDICTS ALIEN INVASION, LOGIC AND REASON INDICATE OTHERWISE
CANADIAN PRIME MINISTER HARPER SET FOR EPIC ELECTION FAIL
ROBERT MUGABE PLEDGES ZIMBABWEAN HELP FOR UNITED STATES CASH CRISIS
MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD DECLARES AMERICAN EMPIRE NEARING ITS END, LEARNING TO PLAY VIOLIN
KIM JONG-IL DEAD? REPLACED BY PUPPET?
PRINCESS DIANA TRIBUTES STILL ANNOYING AFTER ELEVEN YEARS
SPANISH PLANE CRASH LEAVES RACISTS ALIVE
MISSILE DEFENSE PLAN CAUSES GERMANS TO POUR OVER POLISH BORDER
ITALIAN PIRATES PIRATING PIRATE SITE
U.S. AND POLAND AGREE ON MISSILES FOR SAUSAGES PACT
GREENPEACE PETITIONS GOVERNMENTS TO OPEN UP GRAVES
GEORGIAN FORCES PULLING BACK TO ATLANTA
CHINESE OFFICIALS ANGRY OVER RUSSIAN WAR, JOHN EDWARDS AFFAIR
RUSSIA INVADES GEORGIA, ATLANTA RESIDENTS ON ALERT
BEIJING BANNING DRAGONS FROM OLYMPIC VENUES
AFRICAN NATIONS TO DONATE WATER SUPPLIES TO EUROPE
AFRICAN VIOLENCE SPREADS WEST TO SOUTH AMERICA
ANTI-TIBET ACTIVISTS PROTEST LACK OF ATTENTION
DIGGING YOURSELF OUT OF A HOLE MAKES HOLES BIGGER, MAN LEARNS
ISLAMISTS DECRY “MUSLIMIFICATION” OF ISLAM
JOSEF MENGELE’S BIRTHDAY GOES UNMARKED AGAIN
PEACE TALKS BREAK DOWN IN FACE OF NAME CALLING
SOCIALISTS SPEND MOST TIME ON SOCIAL WEBSITES: STUDY
PENNSYLVANIA MISTAKEN FOR TRANSYLVANIA; VAMPIRES OUTRAGED
RASH OF U.S. SHOOTINGS BRINGS GLOBAL OUTRAGE
IRAN EXPANDS SANCTIONS ON U.S.
PLANS FOR “GREAT WALL OF MONGOLIA” FINALIZED