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NEWS > BUSINESS > HERSHEY CONDUCTS STUDY TO SHOW THAT CHOCOLATE IS NOT FATTENING

HERSHEY CONDUCTS STUDY TO SHOW THAT CHOCOLATE IS NOT FATTENING

November 27 2008

Hershey, PA – The largest chocolate manufacturer in North America has just concluded a study that throws conventional obesity wisdom out the window. The privately financed study concludes that chocolate consumption in most of its forms does not significantly contribute to people being overweight. The study is being published in the latest issue of chocolate digest, a magazine published by the company.

“Our study shows conclusively that consumption of chocolate does not make a significant contribution to obesity in the majority of individuals Those who consume major quantities of chocolates are at risk for being overweight but our study shows that there is no correlation between chocolate and that weight gain,” said Hershey Company spokesperson David Watts. “What we found is that people who overindulge in chocolate are also likely to overindulge in other foods, specifically foods high in fat. Couple that with a sedentary lifestyle and obesity results. We find no correlation between consumption of our product and the increasing increase in waistlines.”

The study goes further and actually speculates that the increased caffeine and sugar levels that result from the consumption of chocolate can actually result in increased activity which can contribute to weight loss.

“We want to make sure people understand that chocolate is their friend. It tastes good and it’s good for you,” continued Watts. “We want people to understand that we are not contributing to the obesity problem and are actually doing our best to fight it. We encourage everyone to buy more chocolate.”

The study of course contravenes virtually every other medical study ever conducted. While over-consumption and inactivity have long been fingered as a culprit in obesity, sugary foods such as chocolate have also been fingered as a major culprit in the obesity epidemic taking over much of the western world, specifically the United States.

“It is not only irresponsible but it is delusional and self serving to issue this kind of study. I can’t even imagine what kind of research they did or who they got to do it, but this is most ludicrous thing I have ever heard,” said Scrape TV Junk Food analyst Logan Diamond. “The only part of that study that seems to have any relevance is the idea that there is an increase in energy. The reality is that children will effectively use the rush they get from chocolate it is a lot more difficult for an adult to use the small amount of energy and instead the sugar is converted to fat. The idea that chocolate isn’t a major contributor to people being overweight is nothing but corporate self interest.”

Officially the company would not comment on the criticisms of the study, but an insider supported the conclusions.

“People need to understand that this is about jobs. The economy is affecting everyone and chocolate is no exception. I completely believe the conclusions of the study but even if I didn’t I would still support it because my job relies on us selling stuff,” said the insider. “Besides its only science that tells us that chocolate is bad for you and we all know how accurate science is. If I can say anything to anyone its keep eating chocolate, if you don’t the terrorists have won. That line still has weight right?” 

William Ashford, Business Correspondent

NEWS > BUSINESS > HERSHEY CONDUCTS STUDY TO SHOW THAT CHOCOLATE IS NOT FATTENING