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PETA PETITIONS FOR FERTILIZER PROFITS

Aug 3 2008

Norfolk, VA – In a statement issued today, PETA has announced plans to file a federal lawsuit in order to garner profits from fertilizer manufacturers in the United States.

“Fertilizer manufacture is one of the many examples of the institutionalized exploitation of animals. The mere fact that the majority of people do not, or do not want, to see this as cruel and barbaric behaviour is perhaps the greatest crime of all,” said PETA President Ingrid Newkirk. “We want to make people aware of this obscene practice and do what we can to prevent fertilizer manufacturers from continuing to exploit animals for their personal gain. We intend to stop the production of all animal based fertilizer manufacture, and this is the first, most logical step.”    

The controversial organization issued the statement in their home state of Virginia on Friday.

“There are many, many other ways to manufacture fertilizer, such as composting,” continued Newkirk. We believe that animal waste is as valuable as the animal itself. By eliminating this type of exploitation, we believe we can end all forms of human manufactured animal cruelty.”

PETA’s stated edict is to eliminate all types of human interference in the animal kingdom, whether it be for medical testing, food, zoos, or even pets. The company has been known to use guerrilla tactics as well as legal remedies in order to further their cause.

“It’s a strange argument to make,” said Scrape TV legal analyst Gabe Hawthorne. “Not sure why they would want a cut of the profits for a product they are protesting. Could be that they are running low on cash. Regardless, I don’t believe that the suit will go anywhere. They don’t have any kind of legal ground here.”
Financial gain does not appear to be a likely motivation. Though officially a registered charitable organization, PETA seems to have significant amounts of cash, including the money invested in their multi-million dollar headquarters in Norfolk, a criticism levelled heavily at the organization.

“PETA is the only for-profit non-profit organization in the world. They do put a lot of money into their campaigns and activities but they also draw a lot in salaries and bonuses,” said Cheryl Kind of the anti-PETA organization Eat Meat. “This suit is totally ridiculous. You see this from them every now and then. Every time they go through a period where people stop paying attention they pull some stunt to get attention again. That gets them donations, and they all make out like bandits.”
Eat Meat currently has two members and a website. They operate out of Kind’s basement.

“At least we’re honest. We want attention. With PETA its greed is disguised as do-gooding and guilt mongering. Though, maybe its right that they get a cut of fertilizer profits, since so much crap comes out of their mouths anyway.”

There is no date set for the filing.

William Ashford, Business Correspondent

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