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Its a Fact!
COCA-COLA AND PEPSI IN BATTLE OVER BOTTLED LUNAR WATER
November 17 2009
Washington, D.C. – Water is the essence of all life as we know it. Covering most of the planet and making up the majority of living beings, water is life. Because it’s so important to our very existence it was perhaps a no-brainer that eventually 
corporations would find a way to make money from it, something the bottled water industry has been doing for decades now. Once an affectation of the elite, bottled water has become the standard bearer for how human beings hydrate and in turn has made the producers millions of dollars.
With bottled water expected to surpass the revenue of soft drinks over the next few years, and with more and more competitors entering the market, the big companies have begun looking for new ways to retain their audience. Two of the biggest manufacturers are soft drink producers Coca-Cola and Pepsi who produce Dasani and Aquafina respectively. In an effort to stave off competition from upstarts both companies have begun exploring new formulas for water and not all of them are Earth-bound. With the recent confirmation of water on the moon both companies have begun actively pursuing contracts to lock in the rights to the findings so that they can then be marketed back here on Earth.
“We’ve received a number of inquiries since the announcement of water on the moon and all are being assessed. We have received interest from companies of all shapes and sizes and ultimately our decision will come down to who has the best overall package. We are not going to play favourites but we are also not going to go with a less obvious choice in order to seem fair. We are going to go with the company that makes the most sense, “said a spokesperson for NASA’s product development division. “There are obviously and lot of factors to consider not the least of which is how we transport the liquid from the moon to the Earth in way that will allow the end product to be affordable. We believe firmly that moon water is for everyone, not just the rich elite and any offers we consider seriously will have to keep that in mind.”
The moon is a little over 384,000 kilometres from Earth on average making travel to and from our nearest celestial body long and expensive, which could result in high prices for bottled water which generally retails for about a dollar per bottle when purchased individually.
“Keep in mind that the Apollo 11 mission cost somewhere in neighbourhood of 1.7 billion in today’s dollars which is a significant dollar amount for what might in fact be a very small yield. Keeping in mind the kind of bureaucracy and waste that exists in today’s space program you will likely be faced with even higher costs,” said Scrape TV Science analyst Dr. Howard Poe. “The real decider will be not how much Coke or Pepsi want this, but how much NASA wants it. They have been suffering budget cutbacks for years and their general lack of large scale events has devalued them in the public eye. That will of course change if everyone is carrying around bottle of moon water.”
Another potential obstacle is actually extracting water from the surface of the moon. The majority of the water is believed to be trapped in the porous rocks that make up the surface of the body and would require significant engineering to extract and make potable for human consumption.
“The one good bit about that is there are very few restrictions on bottle water manufacturers. There are all kinds of chemicals in most waters so a little moon dust likely wouldn’t be that much of an issue and I imagine they won’t spend a whole lot of time even worrying about that,” continued Poe. “Whoever gets that contract though will dominate the bottled water market for a long time to come, as long as they can keep the prices reasonable at least.”
Designer bottled water manufacturer ‘Fiji’ is reportedly already turning their eye to the moons of Jupiter as possible sources of new water.
William Ashford, Business Correspondent
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