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NEWS > BUSINESS > LAZY, STUPID PEOPLE STILL JOB HUNTING DESPITE ECONOMIC TURNAROUND
LAZY, STUPID PEOPLE STILL JOB HUNTING DESPITE ECONOMIC TURNAROUND
September 25 2009
Washington, D.C. – Over 6.9 million jobs have been shed in United States since the start of the latest recession almost two years ago. With the unemployment rate at a 26-year high the stark numbers continue to look frightening. Despite that, the 
economy seems to be improving with the U.S. Department of Labor reporting significantly smaller cuts through the month of August. Those small signs of improvement and declining unemployment rates in other major economies such as Canada and the United Kingdom have given economists the best hope yet that the recession may have turned a corner for the good.
With every sector of the economy starting to show signs of slowing down their job losses more and more workers are finding new opportunities. Across the economic spectrum, old and new workers are finding new and sometimes refreshing opportunities in fields they may never have considered before. Though jobs continue to disappear, many employers are indicating that they people being let go are generally much stupider and much lazier than the new people. It’s not immediately clear, say economists, when the economy will turn around enough for such people to eventually find employment.
“We have the best signs yet the economy is starting to turn around. We are not yet even close to where we need to be but the reduction in job losses and layoffs means that more confidence is returning to the market. We should see very positive results in the coming month and we expect those unemployment figures to start a positive slide very shortly,” said a spokesperson for the Department of Labor. “We are seeing a lot of the lesser workers losing their jobs which is contributing to the high numbers. As more skilled and more intelligent people are finding themselves out of work employers are jumping at the opportunity to grab them and peel of the less appealing employees, which will be a problem in the long term.”
Most employers give laziness and inability or unwillingness to learn new tasks as the primary reason for employees being let go.
“Much of that shift towards capable staff is being seen amongst the Fortune 500 
companies. Smaller businesses simply don’t have the diversity or size to allow ineptitude and stupidity to have any kind of success so they are weaned out early. Major companies, particularly retail, eat up exactly those kinds of people but given their druthers they’d much rather have someone capable,” said Scrape TV Business analyst Ken Green. “Despite what many people think Walmart and Target aren’t hiring idiots because don’t know any better. Most managers, at least the smart ones, fully realize the level of ability in their staff members but sometimes simply have no choice. Now with strong employees starting to flood the marketplace they are able to strengthen their staffs a little bit.”
Department of Labor statistics show many of those being laid off are either too apathetic or unable to apply for unemployment, leaving many to leech off relatives or wander the streets aimlessly.
“The real sign of economic strength is when these skilled and able employees are able to go back to their former professions and the lesser people end up back in these less skilled jobs. Once that happens consumer confidence will return in force. Unfortunately customer frustration frequently occurs as a result,” continued Green. “Unfortunately those good times can’t last forever and inevitably those staff members will be returning to work. Previous history indicates that they will not have learned anything from their experience.”
Walmart reports the lowest I.Q. amongst major employers with Best Buy taking on the laziest.
William Ashford, Business Correspondent
NEWS > BUSINESS > LAZY, STUPID PEOPLE STILL JOB HUNTING DESPITE ECONOMIC TURNAROUND
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