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NEWS > BUSINESS > MCDONALD’S CONSIDERS ADDING SOYLENT GREEN TO MENU

MCDONALD’S CONSIDERS ADDING SOYLENT GREEN TO MENU

July 22 2009

City of Industry, CA – For almost seven decades McDonald’s has been the source of cheap, fast, and filling food for Americans. As the company has grown around the world so too has its reputation, both good and bad. With almost complete dominance over the wallets and stomachs of frugal diners around the world that company has had a difficult time with critics in recent years, taking the brunt of the blame for the growing obesity epidemic in the United States. As lean times continue though McDonald’s continues to thrive with consumers more aware of exactly how much they have to spend on food than ever before.

Now the chain has begun to explore new menu options that may benefit both sides of the argument. A low cost food rich in healthy carbohydrates, Soylent has long been envisioned as a substitute for heavily processed and manufactured foods. First appearing in the 1973 Charlton Heston film ‘Soylent Green’, McDonald’s has begun processing their own version of Soylent in the
real world in an effort to appeal to more cost conscious consumers struggling through the recession. According to reports the company has already begun production on the new product at Industry, CA processing plant.

“We are thrilled to present this new menu option to consumers who will not only benefit from a significant cost savings, but also the satisfaction that they are doing the right thing for their bodies and for the community at large. We will begin distribution of McSoylent throughout the Los Angeles area shortly and from there launch the product nationally,” said a spokesperson for McDonald’s. “We realize how tough times are for our customers and we want to do everything we can to make it easier on them. People shouldn’t to choose between keeping a roof over their heads and feeding their family. McSoylent is an excellent alternative for cost conscious families who enjoy eating healthy. We know you will enjoy eating it as much as we enjoy making it.”

Like the movie, McSoylent will be available in three flavours; Yellow, Red, and Green and will not replace any current menu options as yet. It’s believed that the majority of production will be done at the City of Industry Plant which also developed the secret sauce used in Big Macs.

“There of course are a few disturbing overtones bringing a product like Soylent to the market. After all in the movie it turned out that Soylent Green in particular was made from dead people, something that even the most cost conscious of consumers would likely bristle at eating, no matter what their bank account looks like,” said Scrape TV Business analyst Ken Green. “The
fact that the body of a woman was found in a machine at the very same plant the other day makes that possibility a little too close for comfort as well but all should be well. No major food manufacturer has yet employed cannibalistic practices in an effort to gain more customers and as innovative as McDonald’s has been, I think it’s unlikely that they would go that route.”

The death of the woman is currently being investigated by police and is believed to be an accident, though neither McDonald’s nor the processing plant would comment on the situation.

“Things are certainly tough all over and in California in particular the economy is very
rough. Reportedly it’s gotten so bad that people aren’t even able to bury their loved ones and bodies are just being stored in freezers awaiting burial. Unclaimed bodies are up 25% in Los Angeles county alone which really speaks to how tough the situation really is,” continued Green. “Fortunately they’ve been able take care of the bodies through private contractors so things aren’t piling up. It does put a personal note on how tough things really are and how much people are really struggling. I think in that environment something like Soylent, excuse me, McSoylent could do really well. If people can’t afford to bury their loved ones I’m sure any food savings would be more than welcome.”

McDonald’s did not reveal the exact ingredients of Soylent, stating that they preferred to keep the recipe secret just as they have with the special sauce.  

William Ashford, Business Correspondent

NEWS > BUSINESS > MCDONALD’S CONSIDERS ADDING SOYLENT GREEN TO MENU

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