News Briefs
Politics
U.S.A.
Everyone Else
Health
Science
Business
Technology
Sports
Video Games
Entertainment
Future
Retractions
Humour
News Home
News Archive

 

 

 

 

 





 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


SCRAPE TV NEWS STAFF

Editor-in-Chief
Dave Dalkin
Business
William Ashford
Health
Lauren Hebert
U.S.A.
Mike Michaels
Everyone Else
Emil Uliya
Science
Anna Phillips
Sports
Alexi Orton
Videogames
Douglas Havermore
Politics
Edward Bastil
Entertainment
Samantha Dryden
Technology
Martin Philton


 

 


 

 

 

NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT > NEXT WIFE ALREADY SELECTED FOR TOM CRUISE

tom cruise new marriage

NEXT WIFE ALREADY SELECTED FOR TOM CRUISE

July 20 2012

Los Angeles, CA – It’s only been a few weeks since the marriage between Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise suddenly erupted but already both sides seem to be getting on with their lives. With the details of the divorce settled, the pair has moved on, Holmes back to work as an actor and Cruise just being Tom Cruise, making hit movies and getting love from the ladies.tom cruise yolanda pecoraro

Already, it appears, that latter concern has yielded solid results in the form of unknown actress and devout Scientologist Yolanda Pecoraro. The 27-year-old is apparently smitten with Cruise and, equally, it appears that Cruise sees Pecoraro as a sound investment and reasonable partner in a marriage, far better than his three previous wives who have jilted him after he gave them everything they ever could have wanted.

Now enters the new lady who is already being vetted by Scientology marriage experts who are likely hoping that the fourth time is the charm for their biggest star and biggest advocate. Cruise, meanwhile, is said to be very satisfied with the choice and would like to get married in short order.

“Yes, I knew and still know Tom Cruise. And no, I'm not married or engaged,” Pecoraro told the National Enquirer.

No is believed to be code for yes in Scientology speak.yolanda pecoraro

It’s believed that the parties involved would like to stabilize the situation, perhaps to dissuade Cruise from becoming a gay man as many assumed he is.

“This is certainly good news for Cruise and for the church but it is a huge deal for this young actress. I mean she is a nobody but here she is with the role of lifetime at her fingertips. It has to be a very exciting time for her. Hopefully all she really needs to do is show up on his arm and the like but if not, well, it’s a small price to pay for the world she is about to enter,” said Scrape TV Entertainment analyst Tracey Temple. “I guess for her that long investment in the church was a good bet. Not only will she rise in the ranks there she will also be rich and famous and possibly have children which she can use to exploit Cruise in a few years, six I guess, which will make her 33 which is the standard age for Cruise’s ex-wives.”tom cruise new marriage

It’s not clear if Pecoraro entered the church to achieve this end or if it’s just providence.

“She seems a good selection for Cruise and his people. She obviously cares about the church and until she wakes up and realizes that she wants out she will be a perfect wife, perhaps even so much so that Cruise won’t have to spend so much time monitoring her calls or having people follow her wherever she goes which would be nice for her,” continued Temple. “I just hope that this selection doesn’t backfire on them and she ends up spilling all Cruise’s secrets to the world. That would be shame especially given all of Cruise’s failures over the years. I mean the man is only looking for love and he keeps getting burned and that is really sad. Really sad actually, tragic almost. Luckily he’s only partially human.”

Scientology officials refused to comment on the selection which is also code for yes.

Samantha Dryden, Entertainment Correspondent

NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT > NEXT WIFE ALREADY SELECTED FOR TOM CRUISE

SHARE THIS STORY!
LINK IT!
http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Entertainment/pages-12/Next-wife-already-selected-for-Tom-Cruise-Scrape-TV-The-World-on-your-side-2012-07-20.html
TWEET IT!
http://goo.gl/bxPvK


BOOKMARK IT!
Bookmark and Share