NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT > TAYLOR SWIFT READY TO GET MARRIED OR IMPREGNATED BY CONOR KENNEDY FOR NEXT ALBUM
TAYLOR SWIFT READY TO GET MARRIED OR IMPREGNATED BY CONOR KENNEDY FOR NEXT ALBUM
September 4 2012
Los Angeles, CA – Taylor Swift’s entire musical career has been predicated on her failure to hold a relationship together, something she has apparently done over and over again which of course has made her rich and famous.
Now Swift appears ready to end all that by marrying boyfriend Conor Kennedy and having his baby. Luckily, because the pair is young, they will likely break up in some dramatic fashion somewhere down the line and that will give her all kinds of fresh material for an album in the future, provided people still care by that time.
That eventuality, though, is still far off. Swift will apparently, as is the normal process for procreation, actually have to sleep with Kennedy in order to have his seed implant her eggs and create embryo, something which may be a challenge for the singer who really likes to be the good girl and good girls tend not to have sex with teenagers.
Conor Kennedy is 18 and a Kennedy and thus will likely die very young.
“Taylor’s already looking for the perfect wedding dress… she wants a vintage ‘60s gown. Conor is besotted with Taylor and insists the relationship is for real,” said a source.”Taylor is banking on Ethel’s approval for a marriage, and then she’ll have Conor’s baby. She can’t wait to cradle that baby — it would be her passport into Kennedy history.”
Swift has had a string of relationship with famous people that she has turned into hit songs, which she will of course try to do again once Kennedy leaves her or is killed in an untimely fashion.
It’s not clear how much people will care about the song at that time, Swift likely being an old bag singing about mean boys.
“It would be marginally interesting if something like this happened but really only marginally. It wouldn’t be a bad thing per say but not a good thing either. I mean it wouldn’t be like a cure for cancer but it also wouldn’t be cancer either. It’s kind of in between those two things,” said Scrape TV Music analyst Dylan Chambers. “I’m sure her record label is going to be a little nervous about the whole thing because they have really bad good bank off her failed relationships and a successful one would really ruin that. Plus she’d have a baby and be singing songs about babies and no one cares about babies, they care about mean boys.”
It’s not clear what type of baby, boy or girl, Swift intends to have.
“It could open up her music to a whole new avenue of expression, a whole new audience but it will likely just end up making her fat and boring. That’s the way these things tend to go. Pregnant singers get fat and boring and no one wants to listen to them anymore and so that will be the end of her career,” Chambers. “However it is possible that it will end up killing her and that will be huge for her career. Sure she won’t benefit from her death the way the music executives will but seriously, so what. She’ll be dead after all and so it’s all cheddar, sweet delicious boy-hating cheddar.”
Swift is not pregnant today, though she has kissed Kennedy so that’s a start.
Samantha Dryden, Entertainment Correspondent