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NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT > CRYSTAL LAKE RESIDENTS PROTESTING RELEASE OF NEW FRIDAY THE 13TH MOVIE
CRYSTAL LAKE RESIDENTS PROTESTING RELEASE OF NEW FRIDAY THE 13TH MOVIE
February 13 2009
Crystal Lake, IL – Rarely in the history of humanity has mass murder been a cause for celebration but for the last 29 years one day has always been set aside to do just that. Since its release in 1980 Friday the 13th has fundamentally altered the public perception of those rare days as well as the face of random acts of murder forever and one city is not happy about it.
Crystal Lake is the name of the fictional camp which Jason Voorhees, an undead serial killer bent on revenge for the murder of his mother (who was murdered seeking revenge for Jason’s death), commits his acts of butchery. It is also the name of a number of cities across the United States and one in particular is not happy about the association, the city of Crystal Lake, Illinois.
“For nearly three decades now we have been burdened with the curse of Friday the 13th. These films offer no redeeming social value and are vicious and ugly statements on the state of American culture,” said Crystal Lake Mayor Aaron T. Shepley. “For nearly a decade we had peace but then this monstrous burden was raised from the dead and inflicted upon us again. Now this newest film which is sure to be a major box office success comes along and brings that pain all over again.”
The Friday the 13th franchise was largely dormant between the 1993 release of ‘Jason goes to Hell: The Final Friday’ and the 2002 release of ‘Jason X’. The last instalment in the series previous to the current remake was 2003’s ‘Freddy vs. Jason’.
“We call on the movie studios to cease production of this series of films. Movies studios need to be socially responsible and not advocate things such as mass murder even if it is by an undead zombie,” continued Shepley. “We want to restore our great city of Crystal Lake to the glory it once had. We no longer want to be haunted by the spectre of Friday the 13th or mass murder. We need to live as the vital and beautiful city we are.”
There are at least nine other cities in the United States with the name Crystal Lake and a number of actual lakes. None of those cities have levelled similar complaints against the makers of the film franchise.
“The number 13 of course has long been associated with bad luck and Friday the 13th even more so which was likely the reason the title was chosen for the original film. I find it highly unlikely that the original filmmakers deliberately chose the name to bother or harass some small town in 
Illinois,” said Scrape TV American analyst Dave Davidson. “With the exception of sticking the name in Wikipedia’s search engine I find it highly unlikely that anyone outside citizens of the city even know the place exists. If they do indeed feel haunted by the spectre of these movies than my guess is they are thinking way too much about it.”
The city has a population of just under 39,000 people. There is no evidence to suggest that any kind of increase in population during previous Friday the 13ths, nor any evidence that anything like that will happen this year.
“I really doubt that major movie studios are going to even pay attention to anything the mayor of a bumpkin little town like this has to say. This franchise has been a big success and it’s very unlikely they will alter it in any way to accommodate these people,” continued Davidson. “Of course they could also just be looking to gain a little attention as this movie comes out but there are a lot better things they could do than criticize it. I
wouldn’t recommend committing murders, though that would certainly bring a lot of attention to the town, but maybe something simple like a haunted house or murder mystery tour, something simple but compelling.”
The City of Crystal Lake also has a recreation area named ‘Vulcan Lakes’ but so far they have not made similar complaints against the ‘Star Trek’ franchise, the newest instalment of which also comes out this year. Notably, Paramount Pictures is the studio behind both franchises though it is not clear if any executives past or present are from the Crystal Lake area.
Samantha Dryden, Entertainment Correspondent
NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT > CRYSTAL LAKE RESIDENTS PROTESTING RELEASE OF NEW FRIDAY THE 13TH MOVIE
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