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NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT > HOLLYWOOD OFFICIALS CONFIRM MASSIVE CELEBRITY CUTBACK

michael jackson peace sign

HOLLYWOOD OFFICIALS CONFIRM MASSIVE CELEBRITY CUTBACK

June 29 2009

Hollywood, CA – Throughout the economic crisis that has gripped the world for the last eight months companies and industries have been forced to reassess their operating procedures. For some that has meant major layoffs, for others it has meant culling their product lines, for others it has been going out of business entirely. Like all farrah fawcett smiling
industries, Hollywood has had to undergo belt tightening procedures in order to remain fluid and vital through the recession. Now officials have confirmed that the recent spate of celebrity deaths is related to that effort.

The recent deaths of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, David Carradine earlier this month, and even the demise of infomercial pitchman Billy Mays has brought shock and sadness to fans across the globe. Unexpected as many of them have been, confirmation now comes from Hollywood officials that the demise of those individuals is a part of their ongoing effort to keep their product line trim and their staffing situation fluid. They also warned that this may not yet be the end of the cuts to the Hollywood line.david carradine smiling

“We, like every industry in the United States, have taken a look at our financial situation and assessed our assets. We had to be brutally honest with ourselves and determine which of those assets are vital and which ones are toxic and made the appropriate cuts. We understand these cuts make life difficult to a great number of people but we have to make hard decisions and unfortunately that means inconveniencing and possibly hurting some people and for that we are sorry,” said a spokesperson for the industry. “When we looked at our situation we realized that people were going to be unhappy about some of our cuts but rest assured we are acting in the best interests of the industry as a whole. We also want ot warn people that there will likely be more cuts in the very near future. We believe these cuts will strengthen our existing brands and set us up for years of entertainment for generations to come.”

The spokesperson did not give details on how the decisions were made by insinuated that they specifically looked at personalities whose greatest successes were in the past. It is also believed that certain individuals have also had their roles in the industry significantly diminished.ed mcmahon smiling

“Show business is first and foremost a business. When you have millions and millions of dollars at stake you have to be practical and not risk the future on people who are no longer contributing. People like Fawcett and Carradine are taking up roles and dollars that could be allocated to younger players who will contribute for years to come and in that light it would be irresponsible to keep those older brands around,” said Scrape TV Entertainment analyst Tracey Temple. “Unfortunately cuts are never an easy thing but part of being the boss is making the hard decisions. To serve the future you have to be willing to let go of the past especially when the money isn’t exactly flowing.”

It is understood that all of the celebrities that have been famously let go this month were offered retirement packages which were rejected, leading to their forced ouster.lindsay lohan drunl

“Some people are smart enough to simply walk away. They realize that their time is up and while it may pain them to leave they realize that they need to make way for the younger generation. Not only for the sake of those younger performers but also for the health of the industry that has given them so much. For those you refuse to give up the ghost, well sometimes things can get nasty,” continued Temple. “People in Hollywood are human beings like anyone else and they realize the damage that can be caused by these kinds of cuts but they do need to be practical and do what needs to be done no matter how difficult it might be. No one likes to see people lose their jobs but sometimes you just have no choice.”

Work reductions have also happened for such celebrities as Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears but sources indicate that is a temporary situation and they are not currently on the chopping block.

Samantha Dryden, Entertainment Correspondent

NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT > HOLLYWOOD OFFICIALS CONFIRM MASSIVE CELEBRITY CUTBACK

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