NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT > SURVEY FINDS FERGIE LOOKS REALLY GOOD FOR A FIFTY YEAR OLD WOMAN
SURVEY FINDS FERGIE LOOKS REALLY GOOD FOR A FIFTY YEAR OLD WOMAN
February 11 2010
Los Angeles, CA – As rock and roll has evolved over the last sixty or so years, one position in the band has stood heads and shoulders above every other, the lead singer. The voice, the presence, and that intangible X factor that make a band
successful mean that that one position is more or less irreplaceable. Drummers, bass players, and guitarists come and go but the lead singer is always the spirit of the band.
There have been some bands that have been very successful replacing lead singers, bands such as Van Halen and AC/DC have enjoyed more success with their replacements than their original singers, but for the most part bands have fallen into obscurity and irrelevancy with their replacements, as bands such as Black Sabbath and The Supremes will attest. One band that had incredible success with such a switch is The Black Eyed Peas which went from cultish obscurity to gold records almost overnight by simply adding a new singer named Fergie. Her vocal presence on the band’s third album, though limited, helped to launch that record and ultimately the band into superstardom. It is Fergie
too who has become the breakout star of the band, becoming a sought after solo artist and major celebrity in her own right despite much ridicule from a wide spectrum of music fans and celebrity watchers.
Now a new survey of the front woman, in an effort to determine the true level of stardom she can expect to enjoy in the future, has shown that she both looks and sounds great for a woman in her early fifties, despite only being 34.
“It was a marginally surprising result for a lot of reasons. The general talk on web forums and the like would have indicated that she looked more like a man, or perhaps a transvestite of some sort, but that fact that most people believe that she looks like a woman, even an older one, means that she may be around for quite a while longer,” said lead surveyor Kim Kent. “It’s not only that she looks like a woman, it’s that she looks good for that age. You look at someone like Madonna and she looks like her skeleton, but this is what people expect a woman in her early fifties to look like.”
Born in 1975, Fergie will turn 35 in March.
“Who knows what will happen when she actually starts to approach the age she currently looks like, but at least we now have a primer for what women of this age should look like, at least according to the public which is what really matters in the end,” continued Kent. “She could be used as template for plastic surgeons who have apparently had a great deal of difficulty in determining what this age is supposed to look like. Apparently they are supposed to look like vaguely like transvestites with really large hands.”
Fergie has often been criticized for her apparent ‘Man-hands’.
“The success of Fergie and the Peas has been one of the most remarkable things in the history of modern pop culture, and frankly the type of mystery like Stonehenge which will perplex generations of people yet to be born,” said Scrape TV Entertainment analyst Tracey Temple. “At least women now have someone to look to in order to see their futures, at least their possible futures should they be able to retain a very efficient surgeon.”
In the same survey, individuals could only name will.i.am as the only other member of the band.
Samantha Dryden, Entertainment Correspondent