NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT >CIA OPERATIVES FIND POSSIBLE LOCATION OF NEW JERSEY SHORE SEASON
CIA OPERATIVES FIND POSSIBLE LOCATION OF NEW JERSEY SHORE SEASON
May 5 2011
Pisa, Italy – Whatever else the death of Osama bin Laden brings to light, one thing is clear, that this was a triumph of the intelligence community, at least in the United States. Much maligned over the course of the last ten years, and rightly so in many
cases, everything came together on Sunday to help right a wrong that had been seeded all those years ago by the very same agencies. While that success will not turn back the clock and bring back those who perished, it’s a small step towards a kind of redemption.
Aside from the failure to capture bin Laden for all those years, the U.S. intelligence community has also fallen under criticism for questionable techniques used to gain details, details that until Sunday yielded few high profile results. For people all across the United States the death of bin Laden is a triumph, but for the intelligence community it is redemption after a decade of harsh criticism. Now, flying high, that community has a new impetus and a new energy, activity that will likely uncover even more high profile terrorists, and it appears other pressing secrets including the possible location of the newest season of Jersey Shore which for the first time will be taking place outside the United States.
“We believe we have located a possible location for this group inside Italy. We are keeping our eyes on a number of possible locales and as yet we have not seen any
significant members travelling in the country, but we are intent on being proactive and
diligent in keeping an eye on these individuals,” said a CIA insider. “We have been coordinating with the Italian government and intelligence community in order to help keep things smooth. We don’t want a situation like we have in Pakistan where the local intelligence can’t sniff out the targets even under their own noses. We have a great working relationship with the Italians.”
It’s believed that all members of the Jersey Shore are still in the United States.
“As yet we don’t have a clear threat from this group, but it is out policy to ensure that all potential risks are kept under watch. Normally this would not include the stars of television and film, but we have received numerous complaints about the particular group both from inside the United States and abroad and that has prompted this activity,” continued the insider. “Some of those complaints have come from inside Italy itself and the government of that country requested our help in tracking down these individuals and monitoring them in an effective way. We have information in that regard, but of course we will not be revealing that information as yet. Our interest is in protecting the people of Italy and the United States as best as we can.”
MTV, which produces the show, had no comment on the possible location of the Jersey Shore cast.
“Eventually this information will come out but I think its best that for the time being that the location be kept a secret, no matter how badly people want it. Sometimes satisfying curiosity is not a good enough reason, sometimes security and safety are the far more important considerations and that is likely the case here,” said Scrape TV Entertainment analyst Tracey Temple. “No one wants to be the one to let the cast lose on the world and so it makes sense to keep things close to the vest until action can be taken. Eventually the truth will come out, but for now we will just have to imagine.”
No members of the cast had any comment that made any kind of comprehensible sense.
Samantha Dryden, Entertainment Correspondent