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NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT > TWILIGHT MOVIE RELEASE SPAWNS LEGIONS OF INEFFECTIVE BLOODSUCKERS

TWILIGHT MOVIE RELEASE SPAWNS LEGIONS OF INEFFECTIVE BLOODSUCKERS

November 19 2008

Hollywood, CA – With the impending release of the guaranteed blockbuster ‘Twilight’ legions of fans from around the world are in a tizzy with anticipation. With advanced screening nearly sold out and fans lining up days in advance, there is little doubting that the box office take is going to anything less than spectacular. One small group of fans though is already expressing disappointment, not so much with the film itself, but with their own inability to effectively drink blood from someone else’s neck.

“What many film fans are finding is that there is a gap between what you imagine and what you can actually do. People who have been fans of the book pictured sucking blood from someone’s neck and while it looks very similar to that one screen, actually implementing it in real life is much more difficult,” said Scrape TV Entertainment analyst Tracey Temple. “Many fans, both teen and young adult, are finding for the first time that life is often not as depicted in books and movies. In today’s media saturated world it is a very good lesson for them to learn. We run the risk of people actually believing that what they see in media is true and this acts a great learning opportunity.”

Much of the problem revolves around the inability for most people to open their mouths wide enough to reach the jugular vein with their canine, the only tooth feasibly capable of puncturing both the skin and the vein beneath. Others are finding that even when able to reach that far, it is very difficult to get a proper bite.

“People have seen it in the movies for years. Now, with ‘Twilight’ and the ‘True Blood’ television show, there is a renewed interest in the practice of sucking blood. What many young people don’t realize is that not only is it simply not possible for many people, it does take years of practice for anyone to be truly successful at feeding off the living,” said Scrape TV Vampire analyst Fiona Gerber.

“Many young people also have trouble controlling their flow so they either end up choking or just wasting a lot of blood. Movies and books and TV shows portray life as being so easy sometimes but that’s simply not the truth. Life takes practice. For both the living and the undead trial and error is the way you learn. I just hope this phenomenon doesn’t cause people with genuine interest and talent to shy away from the life, fearing that it has become too trendy.”

Adding to the frustration is the warning from many doctors that drinking blood is not recommended for a variety of reasons including disease and stomach aches.

“Aside from possible communicable diseases like HIV, there are many pathogens present in human blood that can be dangerous if consumed,” Said Scrape TV Medical analyst Dr. Phillip Waites. “Blood is also very heavy and can cause severe digestive issues. Like all raw meat products, properly prepared blood is fine, but drinking it from a live specimen is potentially fatal. If you were a real vampire it wouldn’t be an issue but of course there are no such things as vampires. There is a serious concern that these new fictional works will result in a lot of unneeded and potentially dangerous bloodletting.”

Still though, fans of the book and movie are undaunted. With the rabid fan base ready to bite into the box office the rising trend in vampirism seems to be only getting stronger.

“Vampires are cool again, and that’s a good thing if you write about them or own a movie studio,” continued Gerber. “People just need to realize that movies and books are just that. If you are going to drink the blood of the living do it in a safe way. Use a needle, take the blood from a finger and do it in moderation. Ask an expert if you aren’t sure don’t just rush into it. There’s no greater trauma than getting all excited and spilling your blood all over the ground.”

‘Twilight’ opens November 21. ‘True Blood’ airs on HBO.

Samantha Dryden, Entertainment Correspondent

NEWS > ENTERTAINMENT > TWILIGHT MOVIE RELEASE SPAWNS LEGIONS OF INEFFECTIVE BLOODSUCKERS

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