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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > BRITAIN PROBABLY JUST GOING TO BLOW THE STUFFING OUT OF ARGENTINA IF THEY KEEP BANNING THEIR SHIPS
BRITAIN PROBABLY JUST GOING TO BLOW THE STUFFING OUT OF ARGENTINA IF THEY KEEP BANNING THEIR SHIPS
August 4 2012
Buenos Aries, Argentina – Back in 1982 Britain and Argentina fought their last war over the Falkland Islands. That conflict, over the long-disputed atoll, was a pretty decisive victory for the U.K. despite being heavily outgunned. That dominance was due in large part to superior technology. Simply put, British missiles could fire further than Argentinean missiles which allowed them to stay far away.
That war effectively ended the dispute, at least until recently, over the Islands. As they had been for hundreds of years, the Falklands were back in British hands and there was little or nothing Argentina could do about it.
For years, they didn’t even really try. Now though things have changed again. With renewed energy the current Argentine government, led by Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, has been engaged in a war of words with the U.K. over control of the Islands. They have also imposed sanctions and refused docking for ships coming from the Falklands and now they have stepped it up another notch. A new law will prohibit British ships from docking at Argentinean ports, an escalation that might actually get Britain a little agitated and could well lead to them going back down with warships and blowing the crap out of Argentina once again.
“It is a tool that continues our fight for the sovereignty and natural resources of the Malvinas,” said Patricia Cubria who brought the bill forward.
Technically the bill only prohibits British ships from docking at ports in the Buenos Aries province but the ban effectively prevents ships from docking anywhere.
Thus far the British government has not responded to the restriction, in part because they seem to only kind of care and in part because they could deal with it pretty swiftly if they chose.
“It does seem an odd fight these two countries continue to have over this little swath of land. For Britain it’s a pride issue as well as concerns about protecting their citizens on the Islands and for Argentina it’s about the sovereignty of their waters. Both sides have good points, honestly, but it’s hardly worth killing people over,” said Scrape TV International analyst Gustav Hander. “It’s pretty obvious that it is going to come to that and in such a conflict I doubt that Argentina will be as much of a pushover as the last time. I mean the last war only lasted two months. This time maybe they can last three, possibly four. Who knows, the sky is the limit.”
Britain, it is believed, will just park their ships off the coast like last time and bomb the crap out of Argentine forces.
“I don’t think the world needs another war right now. Or maybe it does. Maybe what the world needs is another war, but like a good one with lots of explosions and one that doesn’t go on miserably for years and years with all kind of kids being killed. Those are pretty miserable wars. We need like a real one, with real battles,” continued Hander. “We’d have that for a little while with these two countries before Argentina eventually just fell apart but at least we’d have that moment, that little time and that wouldn’t be bad at all.”
Britain is reportedly considering just blowing up the Falklands themselves to prevent any future incidents or annoyances.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
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