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NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > IRAN LOOKS TO HOLLYWOOD TO HEAL WOUNDS WITH U.S.
IRAN LOOKS TO HOLLYWOOD TO HEAL WOUNDS WITH U.S.
February 28 2009
Tehran, Iran – In a surprising move, the Iranian government has made an overture of peace towards the United States. The olive branch was not extended to President Obama, nor to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, but instead to Annette Bening, star of such motion pictures as ‘Bugsy’ and ‘Mars Attacks!’. 
In typical Iranian fashion though, the peace offering came more in the form of a threat of lack of co-operation if a Hollywood delegation led by Bening didn’t apologize for ‘insults and slanders’ towards Iranians in American movies. Despite the threat though, Hollywood is continuously looking for new avenues for exhibition n and it is expected the delegation will apologize profusely in order to gain new lines of distribution.
“Iranian cinema officials will only have the right to have official sessions with... Hollywood movie makers when they apologise to the Iranians for their 30 years of insults and slanders,” said Presidential Art Advisor Javad Shamaghdari. “The Iranian people and our revolution has been repeatedly unjustly attacked by Hollywood.”
The delegation is in the country on an educational and creative exchange and reportedly intend no political dialogue, despite the presence of Bening whose husband Warren Beatty has long been a vocal activist.
“In most cases that kind of rhetoric would be seen as aggressive but for the current Iranian government it’s very nearly bedroom talk. Shamaghdari made no veiled threats against the Hollywood Hills or threatened the very existence of Los Angeles, and this despite the large Jewish presence in the town,” said Scrape TV International analyst Gustav Hander. “It may very well be that this was a small breakthrough in the very difficult relations the two nations have had over the last thirty years and could lead to a order in that area of the world.”
Shamaghdari cited box office smash ‘300’ and Oscar nominated ‘The Wrestler’ as examples of Hollywood offences against Iranians.
“The powers that be in Hollywood are struggling like everyone else in this economy and a little humility could mean boffo box office,” continued Hander. “Add to that the benefit of possibly muting nuclear proliferation and fighting terrorism in the Middle East and this could be a positive development for everyone.”
It’s not clear if the President has made any requests from the delegation or if Annette Bening has applied for a cabinet position.
Meanwhile Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Iran’s supreme leader, has gone in the opposite direction from the Art Advisor and accused the US government of plans to stay long term in Iraq despite the President’s announced plans to withdraw the last of American troops by 2011. With such a firm date set it’s not clear to what the Ayatollah was referring. It’s also not clear if he has easy access to a calendar.
“There’s little doubt that the religious leadership in Iran is significantly out of touch with the people they govern. That can of course be said
about religious institutions across the board but it is especially true in Tehran. What is surprising though is how out of touch they really are, to the point where they seem
oblivious to the year or the concept of dates,” continued Hander. “Generally giving and end date means you are not going to be there forever, at least that’s how most reasonable people would read the President’s plan. To be fair though the leadership in Iran is not used to communicating with its people or the world so the concept of things like plans and promises may be foreign to them. Maybe if Hollywood starts to make inroads into the country they can import things like ‘Sesame Street’ and give the leadership a lesson on counting.”
‘Sesame Street’, like most other western productions, was outlawed in the country after the Islamic revolution. Traditionally only films containing anti-western rhetoric and perceived anti-Persian stereotypes were allowed to be shown in the country.
“There’s talk of a ‘300’ sequel which would only be a good thing for Hollywood’s ambitions in the country,” continued Hander. “They will show that movie on public streets if they feel it can whip up anti American sentiment. Much like Hollywood itself, Iran knows how to appeal to the lowest common denominator in order to garner success.”
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent
NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > IRAN LOOKS TO HOLLYWOOD TO HEAL WOUNDS WITH U.S.
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