IRASCIBLE IRAN NOW GOING AFTER PEACE LOVING EGYPT

April 29 2009

Cairo, Egypt – Things in the Middle East have rarely gone swimmingly. From the earliest days of human habitation there that small part of the world has seen more conflict and turmoil than any other area of t he world. Conqueror after conqueror has made his way into the region and ultimately been pushed back but that hasn’t
stopped people from trying. Of course the latest foreign powers to exercise their muscle in the region have been The United States and Iran and though things seem to be going the same way, both countries keep trying.

Iran has now stepped its hopes for the region by financing Hezbollah attacks in Egypt. Though Egyptian officials uncovered the terror cell before it was able to launch an assault, the move into the country after it made significant overtures for peace between the Israelis and Palestinians indicates that Iran is stepping up its efforts to influence events in the Middle East as well as maintain their status as the Dennis the Menace of the world.

“The history of the Middle East has never been a positive one for foreign invaders and that isn’t likely to change anytime soon. 16 crusades, the Byzantines, the Romans, all have tried to conquer the region and all have failed. Alexander the Great
and Genghis Khan both failed in the region and it would be a bit of stretch to say that Ahmadinejead is at that level,” said Scrape TV Middle East analyst David Gershwin. “There’s a very good chance that the Iranians aren’t really interested in directly controlling or annexing the region just keeping it stirred up. The motivation for that could be extremely complex or it could be that they are just a bunch of pests trying to cause as much trouble as they can for their own amusement.”

Other famous pranksters of modern times include Bart Simpson and 1990’s sensation the Jerky Boys, both of which have drawn comparisons to the regime. Iran’s current set of troublemakers are led by Ali Khamenei who rose to power after the death of Ayatollah Khomeini who was widely known for his elaborate pranks throughout his ten year reign.

“It’s taken a while for the current leadership of Iran to really get up to speed but in the last few years, especially since Ahmadinejad took over as President and that has put them on par with the previous leadership. True there haven’t been any hostage takings or downed airliners, but they are working up to that. Their move into Arab territory is interesting and bold even for the biggest of pranksters,” continued Gershwin. “Sure they may have
some monetary concerns in the Middle East but I think they just realized it was a great opportunity to stir things up. The commonly accepted way of thinking is that they simply don’t like Jews, but they don’t like Arabs either so their partnership with them indicates that really they are just a bunch of irascible rogues.”

Outside their inflammatory statements and stirring up of terrorist organizations, the Iranian leadership is also reportedly big on traditional pranks such as thumbtacks on the floor and whoopee cushions. Ayatollah Khamenei is also reportedly a big fan of ‘Just for Laughs Gags’ which he has beamed into his private headquarters.

“It would be very difficult to exactly align the Iranian government with other pranksters throughout history largely due to the fact that most gags don’t involve bombs and guns and the killing of innocent people. Devaluing the quality of their irascibility because of the nature of it would just be
unfair though and if we in the world owe the Middle East conflicts anything its fairness,” continued Gershwin. “It’s good to see that they aren’t letting up on the joke. Trying to draw a largely innocent and peace loving country like Egypt into the conflict shows that there really aren’t any limits to how far they are willing to take things. Hopefully the Egyptians will have a sense of humour about this whole thing. It would be a shame if they took it the wrong way and lost their normally peaceable demeanour.”

So far the Iranians have not let Egypt in on the joke. Historically, they offer little apology for their various pranks.   

Emil Uliya, International Correspondent

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