NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > UN ADOPTS TOUGH NEW SANCTIONS ON NORTH KOREA DESPITE THEM REALLY BEING THE TOUGH GUYS IN ALL OF THIS
UN ADOPTS TOUGH NEW SANCTIONS ON NORTH KOREA DESPITE THEM REALLY BEING THE TOUGH GUYS IN ALL OF THIS
March 8 2013
New York, NY – Nobody is quite sure what it happening with North Korea and there appears to be no path to understanding it anytime soon. After a period, nearly a year, of quiet and relatively little activity, the country has come back with a vengeance.
In December it was a rocket launch. In February it was a nuclear test and just yesterday they threatened the United States with a pre-emptive nuclear attack. The country, never particularly stable, has gone from lamb to lion almost overnight leaving the rest of the world kind of confused and forced to act in equally aggressive ways.
Ostensibly, the nuclear test last month was a reaction to new sanctions put in place following the rocket launch. Presumably the threats of nuclear annihilation were a result of assumed sanctions as a result of the nuclear test. That, though, didn’t work at all. In fact the world, buffeted by the UN, has decided to impose a fresh round of sanctions against North Korea leaving them with really little else but sanctions which in turn will of course force them to do even more ridiculous things, the likes of which we can probably all guess at.
“North Korea will achieve nothing by continuing threats and provocations,” said U.S. Ambassador to the UN Susan Rice, stating the very plainly obvious. Well, at least obvious to everyone else.
China, one of North Korea’s few allies and the only one that really matters, gave tacit approval to the measure because even they think things have gone too far.
North Korean official are assumed to be fuming about the new sanctions but no one is likely to pay much attention to that at all.
“Clearly North Korea has taken a position that if they act aggressively they will force everyone else to stand down. They assume, clearly incorrectly, that the world is scared of them or that they even take them the slightest bit seriously which has proven over and over again to not be the case. Obviously no one is scared of them,” said Scrape TV International analyst Gustav Hander. “I mean that is very obvious. The reaction that the world has had is not to downgrade the sanction but to actually increase them which clearly is not the North Korean plan. I mean it could be but I can’t envision a scenario where it would be desirable to have less free stuff from the world, but then I’m not from North Korea.”
It’s believed, in theory, that people from North Korea more or less think like every other human being on the planet, as hard as it is to tell that sometimes.
“It’s become pretty clear that this is not the path towards ending the sanctions or the assault on the people in North Korea. They really do need, or at least should, try a new tact with perhaps things like roller coasters and candy apples. Those are things people can get behind. Nuclear tests, those are a little more controversial,” continued Hander. “Rainbows and unicorns, not atom splitting. Those are the kinds of things that get make you friends, or at least prevent people from becoming your enemy which is about all North Korea can hope for at this stage, at least right now.”
U.S. officials are likely ready to brush off any further threats by just, you know, brushing them off.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent