NEWS > EVERYONE ELSE > YULIA TYMOSHENKO ELECTION LOSS MAKES UKRAINE JOKE
YULIA TYMOSHENKO ELECTION LOSS MAKES UKRAINE JOKE
February 7 2010
Kiev, Ukraine – For many the nation of Ukraine is firmly established as a major part of the former Soviet Empire. Even for generations born after the collapse of the USSR, nations in the far east of Europe remain mysterious and potently dangerous.
Unlike sunnier climes such as Sweden, Spain, and France, the nations of Eastern Europe are still very much under the shadow of history, something that is likely to continue for many years to come regardless of the strides those nations make.
The Ukraine though has worn that reputation well, largely through repetition. The dominance of the Soviet Union wasn’t the first empire to run roughshod over the country, bleeding it of natural resources and subjugating its people. For nearly its entire history the Ukraine has been under rule by some foreign power. The Lithuanians, the Poles, and the Cossacks are just a few of the nations that have ruled over the nation, so the reputation of some dark
netherworld of a country is well earned and well shouldered. Following the collapse of the Soviet Union, Ukraine was one of the few nations to thrive due to large supplies of natural gas and the second largest military in Europe, a gift from the Soviets. In 2007 the election of Yulia Tymoshenko, often voted the hottest world leader, promised to push the country even further into the modern world. But with her defeat by the less than attractive Yuriy Yekhanurov, much of that hope has now been dashed.
“Like anything in the Ukraine or any of the former Soviet nations, an election isn’t an easy thing. In Ukraine nothing is ever easy and politics can be a really nasty game. Look at Viktor Yushchenko who while running for President was poisoned with Dioxin that was very clearly an attempt to murder him. Politics in Eastern Europe are a very different thing than in the west,” said Scrape TV European analyst Gillian Weismann. “With Tymoshenko in charge though it felt like they were truly moving forward. I mean the United States still has not elected a female leader so for such a relatively backwards nation as the Ukraine to put one in office, well that was revolutionary. With her gone though they are falling back, not only because they replaced her with an old guard white man, but an ugly one.”
Yushchenko was considered quite handsome before the poisoning which left his face scarred and pitted. Tymoshenko has routinely made the top of the list over rivals such as Cristina Fernández de Kirchner of Argentina.
“There are a number of attractive world leaders out there but very few of them are female. It was clear from the start that the people of the Ukraine were establishing a different paradigm by electing someone so attractive to office, and that put them on the map again, but now that potential is gone,” continued Weismann. “If you can remember back to that ‘Seinfeld’ episode with Newman and Kramer playing a ‘Risk’ you can recall what people thought of The Ukraine at one point and will again, that it is joke.”
That episode featured a man from the Ukraine ultimately smashing the extended game between the after declaring that Ukraine was not weak. It also famously featured Jerry having to give up his Super Bowl tickets to Tim Whatley because of the upcoming wedding of ‘The Drake’.
“For many people, until the election of Tymoshenko, that was the only reference they really had for the country. That was a great episode which really presented the show at its prime. Branching storylines, absurdist humour, it was really a brilliant episode in so many ways. Man, I miss that show,” continued Weismann. “I mean I guess it was best to leave when it was still good and you realize that things were starting to peter out, but you still yearn for those glory days. Anyways, yeah Tymoshenko was beautiful and hot and now that she’s gone, Ukraine is truly weak again.”
The Seinfeld cast reunited for episodes of ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’ recently but have ruled out a full fledged re-do. Ukraine is officially still on the map.
Emil Uliya, International Correspondent