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NEWS > HEALTH > FDA CONSIDERING APPROVAL OF MORNING AFTER TOOTHPASTE, DEODORANT
FDA LOOKING AT APPROVING MORNING AFTER TOOTHPASTE
May 21 2009
Washington, DC – The path to acceptance has been a long and winding one for emergency contraception, specifically the so-called ‘morning-after pill’. Wrapped up in the continuing debate over abortion rights, such forms of after-the-fact pregnancy prevention have become an ethical, moral, and legal debate unto itself. With use of 
such type of contraception becoming more and more common and falling from the debate amongst the mainstream of abortion activists companies are starting to look to more efficient and effective ways to deliver the medication and remove the possibility of unwanted pregnancies entirely.
The Food and Drug Administration is currently weighing such products and companies, eager to get the jump on the competition, are furiously lobbying officials for approval. On the table is a series of pharmaceuticals that integrate the active ingredient of the ‘morning-after pill’. Toothpaste, deodorant, and even make-up are all products the FDA is considering, products that drug companies feel will not only enhance the ability of users to prevent pregnancy and enhance their own bottom lines.
“Some of the products we see are patently ridiculous but others are a little more reasonable and make sense. Our job isn’t to assess whether or not they are practical or viable in the marketplace but to ensure that they
are safe. In the case of new products that relate to contraception we need to make sure they are safe for the users and effective at the service they claim to provide,” said an insider for the FDA who preferred not to be named. “Companies are all over abortion at the moment. I think in good financial times some people may be willing to take a bit of a risk with pregnancy but with the job market so dry there’s no such thing as a little pregnant and people just can’t take to risk of an unplanned family.”
Our insider also went on to say that he believed the toothpaste would be the first approved. He declined to name the companies involved.
“The whole point of emergency contraception is to help out when you are hit with 
something while unprepared. I can’t think of a better euphemism for the current economic state of being. Unfortunately there’s no morning after pill for economic recession, yet anyway,” said Scrape TV Health analyst Rebecca Phelps. “Integrating it into something like toothpaste is really an ingenious idea. Not only do you not have to worry about contraception you don’t even have to worry about taking a pill. By integrating into something that most people use every morning you are ensuring the end of unwanted pregnancies, but a level of adoption of which most companies can only dream.”
It’s not clear how the drug would make its way into the bloodstream, nor how much toothpaste would need to be used and how long it would need to be held in the mouth in order to be absorbed into the body.
“Presumably that is exactly what the FDA is trying to determine. How this version of the drug needs to be used and what kind of effect it would have on men and children. It goes without saying that the toothpaste will
have cavity fighting properties, teeth whitening, and will keep the user’s breath fresh,” continued Phelps. “It of course is not a magic solution and there is the significant risk of making things too easy and thereby eroding discipline. The unfortunate reality is that the very people most likely to not brush their teeth everyday are those most likely to engage in high risk activity. If things begin to feel automatic then people will stop making the effort needed to avoid the situation entirely. For those that keep a certain level of self-maintenance though, these new advances could change their sex lives forever.”
‘Morning-after toothpaste’ is expected to come in flavours all toothbrushers are used to seeing.
Lauren Hebert, Health Correspondent
NEWS > HEALTH > FDA CONSIDERING APPROVAL OF MORNING AFTER TOOTHPASTE, DEODORANT
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