NEWS > HEALTH > RESEARCHERS FEAR EPIDEMIC AS DWARFISM RATES SKYROCKET

RESEARCHERS FEAR EPIDEMIC AS DWARFISM RATES SKYROCKET

July 7 2009

Atlanta, GA – Throughout history dwarfs and midgets have been a source of mystery, derision, and humour. In fiction and drama dwarfs have run the cavalcade of characters from minions of the devil to the gate masters of the dream world. That unique position in society though has often belied the difficulty many dwarfs face in
day to day life. Serious health problems combined with a world meant for taller people often makes the real lives of dwarfs much different than that portrayed to the public at large, a life very few would envy.

Recent years have seen a change in attitudes towards dwarfism as reality television shows have portrayed them in a more human light, far removed from the mythic status they once enjoyed. With that rise in popularity though has come a disturbing trend that scientists and doctors are now just starting to see evolve. Across the United States an increase in the birth rate of dwarves has puzzled the medical community and has many wondering if the species may be in the midst of an evolutionary process. Though the forms of dwarfism have varied greatly, the increasing birth rates indicate that shortened stature may start to become the norm.

“Across the country we have a trend towards more and more births involving people affected by dwarfism. The rates are increasing across all ethnic and social backgrounds and seem to be growing at an extraordinary rate. It’s very unusual to see a particular kind of birth anomaly such as this to increase in such a wide swath of the population and wear are at a loss to explain it at this point,” said Dr. Frank Welton of the CDC. “We are exploring all possible reasons for this growth rate, if you will excuse the pun, from both a cultural and a biological perspective. I would say that ‘concern’ is the wrong word to use. It is more ‘interest’ at this stage.”

Some in the medical community have speculated that the popularity of such films as ‘The Lord of the Rings’ and television shows such as ‘Little People, Big World’. Researchers have not dismissed the possibility of a biological agent such as a virus.

“The group of people that first saw the ‘Lord of the Rings’ films will just now be coming to an age where they begin to have families and children. Those films were enormously popular and it’s entirely possible that it has had an impact on the breeding ability of fans. True they are likely not deliberately causing this alteration but they have become such dedicated fans over the years that it may have altered their DNA structure in some profound way,” said Scrape TV Medical analyst Dr. Phillip Waites. “Such a thing has never happened before and most people thought it impossible but there have been very few movie series that have
enjoyed that kind of popularity in the past. We could be looking at a medical phenomenon unlike any other in the history of medical science and film. Hollywood is going to have to be a lot more careful if that turns out to be the case.”

Because of the high improbability of the DNA alteration by fandom many researchers are looking towards a biological component, possibly a virus, as a cause of the increased dwarfism.

“Birth mutations are common in situation where people have been exposed to toxins of some sort but that is generally the case in isolated areas not in a population the size of the United States. If it is indeed an external component affecting the types of children people are having then it is likely it is some kind of manufactured agent being spread to the population,” continued Waites. “That
would be a convoluted and unique way for a terrorist organization to attack America but ultimately a very effective one. After all it would be very difficult for dwarves and midgets to reach the controls of say aircrafts or wield guns of significant calibre. Aside from the reduced efficiency that would bring the costs that would go into revamping the entire U.S. military to function with predominately dwarf personnel could compromise the economy of the country; an extremely patient but ultimately an extremely effective move by an organization such as Al Qaeda.”

Researchers are also looking into the possibility that an organized cadre of dwarves may be behind a possible attack against the population in an effort to reduce the overall height of the population.

Lauren Hebert, Health Correspondent

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