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NEWS >POLITICS > JOE THE PLUMBER BASHES MCCAIN WITH SHOCKING DISPLAY OF READING SKILLS

JOE THE PLUMBER BASHES MCCAIN WITH SHOCKING DISPLAY OF READING SKILLS

December 12 2008

Holland, OH – Apparently not content to rest on the fifteen minutes of fame that he stumbled into, Joe Wurzelbacher, better known as the colloquial Joe the Plumber, has been making the talk show rounds promoting his new book “Fighting for the American Dream”. The tell all will focus on Wurzelbacher’s time as part of John McCain’s failed presidential campaign, his differences with McCain, and his shocking ability the string enough words together to complete a sentence.

“I like to think I’m a little more educated than some out there in politics just because it is interesting to me,” said Wurzelbacher in an interview with Glenn Beck. “uhhhh, ummmm, uhhhhh, well, uhhhhhhh…..”

Joe the Plumber came to prominence in the final month of the Presidential campaign as a representative of the every man; a modern day Joe Sixpack used unsuccessfully by the Republican campaign as a tool to access the average voter. Like much in the McCain campaign, the ploy failed to elicit enough of a connection with voters to turn the tide that a failed war, faltering economy, and a gaffe prone running mate brought. Despite his inability to plug holes in the campaign, Wurzelbacher is doing his best to keep snaking his pipe through the public arena.

“Wurzelbacher exaggerated his situation, lied about his position, and is now pretending like he knows what he’s talking about. It’s little wonder that he has such affection for Sarah Palin. We could be looking at 2012 here,” said Scrape TV political analyst Gabriel Kinsey. “The most shocking thing about this is the realization that the guy is able to compose complete thoughts and at least tell another person what he’s thinking and have them write it down. I’m sure there are a lot of very intelligent plumbers out there, but he isn’t exactly one of them. At the very least his math skills aren’t up to snuff.”

Among other gaffes that Wurzelbacher made during the campaign was the claim that he had intentions to purchase the firm he worked for at 250,000 dollars but which generates over 500,000 dollars annually, on his 40,000 a year salary. He also claimed that he was one of two employees when in fact the company employs eight.

“I just hope he isn’t going to be doing his own accounting on the revenue from this book, provided they actually sell enough copies to have to use something other than his fingers,” continued Kinsey. “The attacks against McCain are a little bit misguided though. Sure he’s old and won’t be around at least politically for a whole lot longer, but putting all your eggs in the Palin basket isn’t exactly the smartest move; she’s got about as formidable a political career as he does a plumbing one. At least he’s found something you don’t actually need qualifications to participate in, unlike a real job.”

Among other things, Wurzelbacher publicly bashed McCain over the bailout situation.

“The only reason Wurzelbacher isn’t still snaking drains is because of McCain and this is a really disloyal way to treat his benefactor. Even McCain who was running for President refused to play those kinds of dirty tricks against Obama. Of course he did lose,” concluded Kinsey. “Of course years of unclogging toilets makes you an expert on all things political. McCain’s nearly thirty years of service in the house and senate versus Wurzelbacher’s access to CNN and FOX News really means nothing. In this era of twenty-four hours experience, intellect, and insight mean nothing as long as you have cable. Luckily Joe the Plumber can afford that on his forty grand a year.”

“Fighting for the American Dream” will be released later this month.

Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent

NEWS >POLITICS > JOE THE PLUMBER BASHES MCCAIN WITH SHOCKING DISPLAY OF READING SKILLS

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