NEWS >POLITICS > JOHN MCCAIN CONFUSED OVER SARAH PALIN EMAIL HACKING, WATERGATE CONSPIRATORS JEALOUS
JOHN MCCAIN CONFUSED OVER SARAH PALIN EMAIL HACKING, WATERGATE CONSPIRATORS JEALOUS
September 18 2008
Washington, D.C. – The ease with which a hacker was able to access Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin’s personal email sent shockwaves throughout the beltway. While little information that could be used against the Alaskan Governor was uncovered in the Yahoo! account, revelations from the apparent hacker reveal that he spent less than forty-five minutes to access the account and distribute her personal correspondence across the web, specifically on infamous image board 4chan and the site Wikileaks.
While there was already criticism of the Governor for using a commercial email account rather than her government issued one—an account which has now been proven to be susceptible to probing—this invasion has no doubt sparked an overhaul of the government’s email systems and protocols. While heads have been spinning over the security breach, there is no one more confused than Palin’s running mate John McCain.
“We all know that McCain is a little behind when it comes to technology and the web. He seems to have caught up a little after that initial embarrassment, but from what I’ve heard he’s having a little trouble wrapping his head around this one,” said Scrape TV political analyst Gabriel Kinsey. “Of course that’s not unlike the bulk of the people here. I’d say that ninety per cent of the people in the senate don’t even understand the term hacking and have to get their assistants to deal with email. After all they’re busy with sorting out earmarks and hedge funds. Email is just a little too modern for most of them.”
“Sometimes I wish I was born in a different era. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the cloak and dagger stuff, but in today’s age it just seems like I could have gotten so much more done today,” said Liddy. “I’m a little old to get into this hacking and email stuff, but it just seems like there is so much opportunity to do damage today. I’m jealous of the kids to be honest. In my day it took a hell of a lot of effort to undo a politician, now kids do it from their bedroom. I was born in the wrong era. I would warn them though; make sure you watch how you apply the tape. Cover your tracks.”
The conspirators of course were discovered after security guard Frank Wills discovered a suspicious piece of tape on an office door.
“Of course if Nixon had had access to email, we probably would have ended up in a much different position too,” continued Liddy. “The old man just couldn’t keep his mouth shut. At least Palin was smart enough to delete any incriminating messages. That’s the mark of a good politician, cover your tracks. I learned that one the hard way.”
The Secret Service and FBI are currently investigating the source of the email hacking. They have not commented on whether or not charges will be pressed either against the hacker or the sites that published the purloined messages. Representatives for Governor Palin, Senator McCain, Senator Obama, and Senator Biden did not return our calls by publication time.
Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent