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NEWS >POLITICS > REPUBLICAN PARTY MULLS MAKEOVER; VOWS TO SHED RED

REPUBLICAN PARTY MULLS MAKEOVER; VOWS TO SHED RED

November 17 2008

Washington, D.C. – Faced with one of the greatest defeats in their history, The Republican Party is taking a very keen look inwards in an effort to reorganize and regroup. While fundamentals such as policy and communication are high on the list of priorities, party officials have decided that aesthetics will be the primary focus.

“What we realized going through the campaign is that looks really matter. Not just what the people running look like, but the overall campaign,” said a party official who preferred to remain anonymous. “The biggest change we need to make is in the official colours. Not only did Obama do well with those soothing blue signs, we realized that as McCain got into the whole socialist thing that red is the colour of socialism and that just doesn’t do us any aesthetic favours.”

Among the colours the party is looking at adopting are Orange, Gold, Burgundy, Flax, or the most popular Han Purple, which is very similar to the Navy Blue used by the Democratic Party.    

“That gives us a huge advantage. Not only does it give us that cool soothing look, it’s very tough to tell the difference on those big maps the networks use,” continued the insider. “That would do nothing but serve us well and bring in way more votes for our side. Plus, Sarah Palin looks good in purple so if she decided to run we’d have a double win.”

Rumours are also running rampant that the party will do away with its traditional elephant logo and go with something a little more striking. Presently a shark or a wolf seems to be the most popular choices at present.

“What the Republicans learned this election is that there is a gap between talking about being progressive and actually being progressive. People found it easier to believe that a young black man was less like the president that had gotten them into a mess than an old white guy,” said Scrape TV political analyst Gabriel Kinsey. “Aesthetics are important, but they need to do a whole scale renovation to have real success. If they want to convince the American public that they have changed they simply need to put up a better front than changing a few colours or logos. The American public may or may not be stupid, but they are not blind, well at least most of them. The Republicans will have to do lot more to pull the wool over their eyes next time around, or at least make sure they choose a dark colour.”

High level Republican officials have already been involved in discussions with stylists and logo designers hoping to get a head start on the new design work ahead of the 2010 house and senate elections. While that election will be important for the short term health of the party, it is also seen as a testing ground for the 2012 Presidential election.

“It is going to be next to impossible to outdo the Democrats as far as the look of the candidates go, unless they say nominate and Arab, but if they are able to put on a good show they might just be able to steal some votes away and put themselves back into power,” continued Kinsey. “Of course they may be able to do that if they looked at things such as relating to the public, modernizing their philosophy, and nurturing candidates that have some appeal. In the long term that may serve them better but it’s a little more difficult than changing your clothes. As everyone knows easy is always easier.”

Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent

NEWS >POLITICS > REPUBLICAN PARTY MULLS MAKEOVER; VOWS TO SHED RED