DINOSAUR GAS THE LATEST CULPRIT IN GLOBAL WARMING
May 9 2012
Liverpool, U.K. – Aside from the most extreme of scientific and political luddites, everyone agrees that he Earth is starting to warm up. Coral reefs are dying out, glaciers are collapsing, and the mean temperature of the planet is continuously increasing. That is fact, the only real debate is cause.
For most people the controversy over global warming comes over whether or not human activity is responsible for increased heat. While it is unlikely that we are having no impact whatsoever, recent studies have shown that in fact part of the increase may just be a part of the natural cycle of the planet which routinely heats and cools.
Now though, scientists working in England have found a new and potentially viable culprit in the ongoing drama over the heating of the planet, dinosaurs, which have been dead for millions of years.
Studying the patterns, populations, and diets of the dead lizards, researchers have determined that the gas released from those animals were likely responsible for an increase in temperatures 150 million years ago, gas which could still be evacuating from their remains as we dig them from the ground, or possibly transported through time by some nefarious future dweller intent on destroying the world for his own reasons.
“Although it's the dinosaur element that captures the popular imagination with this work, actually it is the microbes living in the dinosaurs guts that are making the methane,” said Dr. David Wilkinson. “Cows today produce something like 50-100 million tonnes per year. Our best estimate for Sauropods is around 520 million tonnes.”
Methane is a greenhouse gas which has routinely been cited as one of the root causes of global warming.
Today it is cows that produce the bulk of methane released into the environment, levels which obviously are much lower than in the dinosaur era.
“It’s an interesting study but the real question, and the one still unanswered, is what kind of impact dinosaurs are having on our current issues. Clearly something is facilitating the global warming. It may have been started by the natural cycles of the planet but it is our activity which is amplifying the process, or could be. Now clearly it could well be dinosaurs from the past causing these problems,” said Scrape TV Science analyst Dr. Howard Poe. “How they are transmitting their gas, their farts, through space and time is something else entirely and a branch of science which we really haven’t explored. I doubt farts have the ability to travel through time by themselves so something must be facilitating it.”
Methane gas has not been widely explored as a method of time travel. Generally phone booths and old cars are the standard devices for such activity.
“Dinosaurs were dumb animals and so it is unlikely they worked out time travel. My guess would be that some future society, perhaps even cold blooded methane breathing aliens, have taken control of the planet in the future and are now transporting greenhouse gases into the past to make the planet more palatable for their eventual arrival. Clearly, dinosaur gas was abundant and would be a perfect source,” continued Poe. “If that is the case I don’t see what we can do to prevent the increase in temperatures, aside from disjointing us from space and time entirely, moving our time period around through the ages so that these future aliens can’t find us but that is beyond our technology right now. Given the difficulties there we might just be best suited to reduce our own emissions and at least reduce the overall impact. That we can do.”
Other theories posit the Al Gore has developed his own time travel machine in an effort to secure another Nobel Prize or just destroy humanity once and for all.
Anna Phillips, Science Correspondent