FELIX BAUMGARTNER MANAGES TO NOT DIE IN HIS RIDICULOUS JUMP FROM SPACE
October 14 2012
Roswell, N.M. – There are many barriers, many obstacles, that human beings have surpassed in the last few decades. The sound barrier, space, and possibly even the light-speed barrier are all things that have been broken in the last sixty years, a grouping of accomplishments that will likely never be surpassed.
That has of course created a lot of excitement over the years and done a great deal to advance our knowledge of the planet and of the Universe in general. It has also left us with little to accomplish in that field, little glory left for the rest of us, which of course makes daredevils try for more ridiculous attempts at making history.
That is something Felix Baumgartner tried and accomplished on Sunday, finally making his stratospheric jump, breaking the sound barrier, and jumping from a higher distance than anyone human being has ever done. That accomplishment is certainly, well, that. He did jump from space to Earth which is really not bad at all and he managed to do it without dying which is pretty good as well, though what it actually achieved for science is still up for debate.
Baumgartner’s dive from 128,000 feet will no doubt etch his name in the record books, something he will be able to enjoy because of course he did not die in the attempt which was a very real possibility despite a whole lot of practice.
The causes of that potential include smashing into Earth at a high rate of speed, running out of oxygen, his blood boiling under pressure, or even free falling into a passing bird.
None of those things happened though which of course allowed him to live and enjoy his record which isn’t bad at all.
“This is certainly a cool thing he has done. I don’t know what it really means for anything in the end but it is certainly cool and has brought a lot of attention to both him and to Red Bull which is sponsoring the dive so that’s something they were able to accomplish which isn’t bad I suppose,” said Scrape TV Science analyst Dr. Howard Poe. “As far as the science or engineering it will advance, that’s a little more limited. This isn’t like breaking the sound barrier for the first time or going to space for the first time. It’s kind of a riff rather than a song, really.”
To be fair, Baumgartner is Austrian and Austrians really haven’t been first in much, aside from killing Jewish people.
“I’m sure there are many people who will be very excited about this for a little while and then all the attention will go away. Pretty soon everyone will be jumping from these heights and no one will be interested anymore. That will just push people to ever greater attempts, like maybe jumping from the Moon to Earth or something equally silly,” continued Poe. “Who knows but I do know that if people keep doing these silly kinds of things someone is going to end up exploding in space or something. It’s going to end badly for someone, it has to, Baumgartner is just lucky it didn’t go wrong for him and he is able to live to do other stupid things in the future.”
It’s not clear if Baumgartner realizes how close he really came to death.
Anna Phillips, Science Correspondent