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NEWS > SCIENCE > PRESUMABLY EVIL SCIENTISTS NOW HACKING INTO PEOPLE’S BRAINS AND STEALING PRIVATE INFORMATION

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PRESUMABLY EVIL SCIENTISTS NOW HACKING INTO PEOPLE’S BRAINS AND STEALING PRIVATE INFORMATION

August 28 2012

Berkeley, CA – There probably isn’t a person on the planet who hasn’t at one time or another wished that they could tell exactly what is going on the mind of another person. Whether it that cute girl in English class or a dealer in Vegas the usefulness of having the ability to read minds would be beneficial to just about everyone and thus has become one of those things people really, really want.mind reading

For years, all it has been is a want. Despite claims from some people, mind-reading has been proven false over and over again. It is a fantasy, dream, a flight fancy that could never be fulfilled, or is it?

Scientists in Berkley, California claim to have discovered a breakthrough in mind-reading technology using simple off-the-shelf technology. Those scientists paired with counterparts in Geneva managed to alter and use the Emotiv brain-computer interface to hack a subject’s brain and allow them access to sensitive information including PIN’s and banking information, an important first step to taking over their identity, their life, and everything they have ever known in their pathetic little lives.

“The P300 can be used as a discriminative feature in detecting whether or not the relevant information is stored in the subject’s memory,” said the researchers. “For this reason, a GKT based on the P300 has a promising use within interrogation protocols that enable detection of potential criminal details held by the suspect.”

To elicit the desired response the subject was subjected to similar items on a computer screen. When the brain was stimulated, it was then read by the P300 device.mind reader

Thus far the scientists have not used the subject’s banking information but it is believed likely that will only be a matter of time, especially now that they have persistent access to their brains.

“This is certainly very interesting, very cool, and potentially very dangerous technology and certainly something that we need to keep away from the wrong kind of people. Luckily, this technology will make it very easy to determine who are the wrong type of people and so keeping it away from them should be cinch,” said Scrape TV Science analyst Dr. Howard Poe. “Not keeping it away from nefarious-type folks could have dire consequences. It’s one thing to worry about bank PIN’s being released but what about spies or the President? If their secrets are revealed it could result in the destruction of the entire world and, frankly, we wouldn’t be able to use the excuse that we didn’t see it coming.”

It’s not clear if the scientists are working on blocking technology, presumably technology they would be able to evade themselves.magneto

“Obviously crime is the big concern here but we cannot allow these scientists to use that as a cudgel to force us into accepting their new inventions in this field. We don’t know their intentions because, simply, they are not giving us access to these machines. They could be using our fear of potential criminal usage to force us to use their evasion technology which of course they can beat because they created it,” continued Poe. “That would give them total access to every human being on the planet, or hopes and dreams and out most intimate thoughts which, eventually, would allow them to take over the world. They may not be planning that but, frankly, until we get access to that technology I just won’t trust their word.”

The scientists didn’t exactly say they weren’t going to try to take over the world.  

Anna Phillips, Science Correspondent

NEWS > SCIENCE > PRESUMABLY EVIL SCIENTISTS NOW HACKING INTO PEOPLE’S BRAINS AND STEALING PRIVATE INFORMATION

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