Scrape TV Home Scrapeipedia The Town of LaRue Community Forum (new) Scrape Store (coming soon)

Scrape TV Humour

Scrape TV News

Scrape TV On the Air

NEWS > SCIENCE > SCIENTIST DEVELOPS COMPLETELY UNNECCESARY PROGRAM TO UNDERSTAND ALIEN LANGUAGES

SCIENTIST DEVELOPS COMPLETELY UNNECCESARY PROGRAM TO UNDERSTAND ALIEN LANGUAGES

October 21 2008

Leeds, England – A computer program developed by a British scientist could help translate messages from an alien race should they ever attempt to communicate with human beings. The invention is coming as a great relief to UFO watchers the world over, giving them even less reason to try and comprehend reality.

Dr. John Elliott of Leeds Metropolitan University has invented a software program that could theoretically analyze the structure of an alien language and provide scientists and linguists with at least a basic understanding of what and Alien race might be trying to communicate.

“Language has to be structured in a certain way otherwise it will be inefficient and unwieldy," Elliott told New Scientist magazine. “The program should be able to break a language up into crucial words such as nouns and verbs, even though their meaning is unknown, though a ‘code book’ of some sort would still be necessary.”

Of course with the mere fact that evidence of off world life has no scientific basis, no matter how likely the possibility, the time and energy put into the development of such a piece of software strikes of make work budget satisfaction rather than real scientific need.

“There is very likely life somewhere else in the Universe, probably in fact quite a bit of it,” said Scrape TV Science analyst Dr. Howard Poe. “If aliens were in fact to come to Earth it is extremely likely that they would be possessed with superior intelligence and technology and would undoubtedly have studied our languages and cultures, so that would render the software unnecessary. If we were to receive a deep space signal of some sort it is likely to be in the form of fragmented information or even a series of sounds, so again. Plus, it’s tough having a conversation over light years.

“There is an assumption that an alien species would evolve in much the same way as life on this planet did but there is no evidence to support that assumption. What if the species is from a methane rich planet? Their physical structure would be dramatically different from humans, hence so would their culture and language. What if the alien species used a structure similar to say English at one point but have evolved far beyond that? All we have are assumptions and building any kind of tech to try and decipher what might happen is a waste of time. It’s like the 8-track of UFOlogy, which unto itself is a little nonsensical.”

Not all are so critical of the development though, such as US linguist Dr Sheri Wells-Jensen of  Bowling Green State University. “You have to start somewhere. My money is on being able to understand aliens.”

“Us encountering an alien race, at least one where we are able to have some type of communication with, would likely be akin to a member of some undiscovered tribe suddenly being dropped in Times Square,” continued Poe. “It would be totally disorienting and overwhelming. They would have to take our hand and help us along, not the other way around. Of course the whackos are probably loving this as it only encourages their behaviour.”

For their part UFOlogists are relatively indifferent to the invention. One group we spoke to saw it as just one more government conspiracy.

“It’s a cover. It’s an if they come we will be ready,” said Sandra Moonlighter of the group U.F.P.G.C.K. “They are already here. This is just they’re way of pretending they aren’t already amongst us. Everyone’s in on the conspiracy.”

For his part, Dr. Elliott denied being a part of any conspiracy, but did say he has had talks with various government groups. “Just being open so there’s no controversy. I have to admit though, they were all politicians and I really didn’t understand a word they were saying.”

Anna Phillips, Science Correspondent

NEWS > SCIENCE > SCIENTIST DEVELOPS COMPLETELY UNNECCESARY PROGRAM TO UNDERSTAND ALIEN LANGUAGES