SCIENTISTS CONCERNED UNIVERSE ON THE VERGE OF SELF DESTRUCTION

June 14 2009

Berkeley, CA – Science is often an inexact science. With major gaps in our knowledge base of the natural universe scientists are routinely making new discoveries about the way the world and the Universe function. Because of that growing knowledge often long held understandings have the tendency to change. New
technologies and new branches of science can profoundly change not only the science of science but how people perceive and accept the study of the natural world.

With recent discoveries of a previously unknown super massive black hole, the possibility of the star Betelgeuse on the verge of supernova, and a prediction that the Earth may collide with a nearby planet many are fearing that the entire universe may be hurtling towards destruction. Though certain events like the collision of Earth may be billions of years off, the concern amongst scientists is that such possibilities could spark fear in the masses and cause a whole scale rejection of science and a return to superstition and myth that once held the hearts and minds of the world.

“We do not know why the star is shrinking. Considering all that we know about galaxies and the distant universe, there are still lots of things we don't know about stars, including what happens as red giants near the ends of their lives,” said retired Berkeley physics professor Charles Townes of the supernova. “To see this change is very striking. We will be watching it carefully over the next few years to see if it will keep contracting or will go back up in size.”

Though it’s unlikely that the death of Betelgeuse will affect our solar system in any way due in part to its distance of 600 light years and the very distinct probability that humanity will no longer be inhabiting Earth by the time it collides with another planet, many in the scientific community are concerned that panic will overtake the masses and cause them to abandon rationality.

“There was a time when science was considered a black art; a manifestation of evil of
some sort. It is only in the last few hundred years and more distinctly in the last hundred or so, that science has come to a kind of common level of acceptance. That has a lot to do with the advances that science has given people such as medicine and wide screen televisions, but has to do with an increased level of education amongst the masses,” said Scrape TV Science analyst Dr. Howard Poe. “For hundreds of years the vast majority of people were uneducated and illiterate their intellect simply wasn’t as sophisticated as it is today. That led to them believing the first and easiest thing they were told without question. That was how dictators ruled and it was why science had such a long struggle towards acceptance. People aren’t getting stupider but our knowledge of the universe is getting to a level that is going to stoke more than a little fear in the more vulnerable amongst us.”

Amongst the concerns scientists have proposed are rioting in the streets, assassinations, mobs with burning torches, and increased church going.

“The question here is whether or not people will be willing to give up their modern
conveniences in favour of rampant chaos. There will be some to be sure but whether or not that will translate into a full scale assault on reason that could undermine millennia of human civilization is a different thing entirely,” continued Poe. “As long as people understand that it is not science that the cause of these frightening things but merely the illuminator of them then we should be able to retain at least the basic semblance of a society. It is much easier to blame the messenger but the core question is will people be able to give up things like iPods and indoor plumbing? Hopefully they’ll think of that before getting out he pitchforks.”

It’s not clear if any scientists fearing the end of their craft have any evidence of the impending doom or if they are simply going on gut instinct.

Anna Phillips, Science Correspondent

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