BILLS’ FULLBACK ARRESTED ON CHARGE OF EXPOSING SEXUAL ORGANS

May 17 2009

Buffalo, NY – There never has been a whole lot of excitement in Buffalo. Its founding in 1804 established the city as an effective shipping port, though significantly outshined by that of nearby Montreal and Toronto. By the middle of the 20th century the economy of the city had been eroded by the opening of the St. Lawrence Seaway
which more than halved the population. In recent years professional sports teams and increased investment in the city have brought some life back, though for many it is still Buffalo.

One of the proudest aspects of Buffalo culture has been the sports teams. Though not blessed with an abundance of great players or great success, the Sabres and Bills have enjoyed a rabid fan base that has not been affected by murder and repeated loss. After a long hard winter though, football is looked to as the salvation for many a resident of the city no matter the history of disappointment and this year was no different, until fullback Corey McIntyre was arrested last Thursday for exposing his sexual organs in public.

“The people in Buffalo really can’t catch a break. They come out of six months of snow, are all excited for the start of training camp and the signing of Terrell Owens and then they have something like this hit them. Sure it’s not as bad as O.J. Simpson murdering people or losing the Super Bowl four straight years but it still seems like the city can’t catch a break,” said Scrape TV Sports analyst Mark Marvins. “Add to that the likelihood that the Bills will eventually move to Toronto and you just can’t help but feel sorry for the people of Buffalo. Of course they do continue to live there when there are plenty of other houses around the country, especially now, so maybe they are getting what they deserve.”

McIntyre was arrested in connection with the incident sometime earlier this year in which he exposed his sexual organs to a 59-year old woman in Florida.

“The severity of the charges and the potential punishment will all depend on which
parts of his sexual anatomy he exposed to the woman. Obviously the penis would bring the most serious charges but there are many other organs in male reproduction that would warrant different charges. The case law is very clear on this,” said Scrape TV Crime analyst Willard Weston. “The scrotum, testicles, seminal vesicles, epididymis, bulbourethral glands, all these organs are a part of the male sexual anatomy and all bring different charges and have different punishments, depending on the specifics surrounding the exposure.”

Masturbation in public and said exposure to unwilling individuals tends to bring the most serious charges with testicles coming in second. Case law throughout the United States differs when it comes to the exposure of internal organs.

“Courts tend to assess punishment for the exposure of internal organs a little differently than they do exposure of things like say a penis or a breast. That is due largely to the prevalence of accidental exposure in the case of accidents or physical assaults. One would hardly expect that a person would be charged with a crime because say their intestines were spilled all over the road. The outrage would be enormous if that became standard,” continued Weston. “The courts would also become more clogged than they already are and you would run into the issue of charging dead people and the difficulties of enforcing punishment on those people. You can’t exactly bury people in prisons, at least not yet. We will have to wait and see what happens, once we know more details of the charges.”

Regardless of the charges, it is not expected to affect the outcome of the Buffalo Bills upcoming season The team finished last season with a 7-9 record and aren’t expected to do much better this year, with or without their organs intact.

Alexi Orton, Sports Correspondent

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