NEWS > SPORTS > LONDON OLYMPIC OFFICIALS WOULD RATHER THE ATHLETES GET PREGNANT AIDS THAN USE UNOFFICIAL CONDOMS
LONDON OLYMPIC OFFICIALS WOULD RATHER THE ATHLETES GET PREGNANT AIDS THAN USE UNOFFICIAL CONDOMS
August 9 2012
London, U.K. – Though the International Olympic Committee was loathe to admit it for many years, they have finally come around t accepting and even embracing, in many ways, the reality that athletes will have sex at the Olympics. Hot bodies, far away from home and all caught up in the excitement of the time, those are all recipes for sex.
Apparently quite lot of sex in fact. Prior to the Games, Durex provided the 10,800 athletes with 150,000 condoms, enough one would have assumed to last them to the end of the two week period. Apparently it was not enough, not even close, which has forced some athletes to smuggle in their own supplies
While such a thing would seem to be the responsible action to take, apparently Olympic organizers, concerned about irritating one of their promotional partners, have started an investigation into how those rogue contraceptives made their way into the athletes village and has prohibited anyone from using them, even if that means they will end up pregnant or with AIDS or all kinds of terrible ailments.
“We will look into this and ask that they are not handed out to other athletes because Durex are our supplier,” said Olympic organizers.
At issue was a picture tweeted by an Australian cyclist which depicted novelty condoms manufactured by a company other than Durex.
It’s not clear how those contraceptives made it into the compound or if anyone has used them.
It’s believed that any athletes caught using the illicit condoms will be asked to leave the games.
“The IOC has really worked hard, even more so this year than in the past, to ensure that their promotional partners are being protected. In this case they are also obviously protecting the athletes but it’s become pretty clear that they seem to care more about the advertisers than they do about the health and well being of the people at the Games,” said Scrape TV Sports analyst Mark Marvins. “It’s really a shame that that has happened, that they seem to care more about the money than they do about the sport or whether or not all these athletes will develop STD’s like AIDS which, and I assume they know this, is a pretty darn serious disease, even fatal a lot of the time.”
There have been no reports of AIDS or babies at the Games, yet.
“I think, especially since they are quite clearly encouraging the athletes to have sex by giving them all these condoms, that they should be more responsible and not force them to use condoms they clearly don’t have any more of. They’ve created this environment of free sex in order to strike deals with condom companies and then don’t provide them with enough to stay safe,” continued Marvins. “It’s really too bad that it’s come to this, that they are willing to risk the lives of all these young people just to make a buck. Well, also because they don’t care, making a buck isn’t the only reason just one of a few. It’s still a shame though no matter their reasoning because people are going to suffer and die and that is just not worth the medal thing, getting a medal, not worth it at all.”
Durex has not provided any more free condoms because the Games are starting to wind down and that reduces the promotional benefit.
Alexi Orton, Sports Correspondent