AMD MAKING A KILLING WITH IRANIAN MISSILE DEAL

June 20 2009

Sunnyvale, CA – Like all companies, AMD has suffered through the recession. The company has long been one of the most prominent and successful manufacturers of computer processors but as people’s incomes dry up, so have the fortunes of AMD. Like in many industries the divide between what people want and what people can live
without is growing ever wider and that is forcing the company to take drastic and sometimes controversial actions in order to keep the company afloat and employees with jobs.

Enter into the fray a country with a fledgling military and technology sector desperate for cutting edge technology. Like many emerging nations, Iran has lagged behind in microchip and semiconductor technology, a limitation which has further widened the gap between the have and the have-nots. With both sides suffering, the collision of their interests seemed a natural
progression. The revelation that the two entities had struck a deal came as a surprise to many, but investors and religious radicals alike are applauding the move as a marriage made in Jannah.

“There is a side to this story that no one has written yet. There is a belief that history will repeat itself, that Intel will recover its markets, and things will go back to being the way they were. But that is not true,” said Henri Richard, AMD’s chief of sales and marketing. “Things won’t go back the way they were because there has been a fundamental shift in markets. Four years ago we were not in the commercial market and we were not in the server market, or the mobile market. Now we are, and that is something that is not going to change.”

Iran for its part has used the AMD chips in a handful of its supercomputers as well as most of their long range missiles, allowing the country to dramatically advance their regional and global positioning.

“One of the principle reasons for the collapse of the Soviet Union was the gap between emerging technologies. The free market allowed for the development of new technologies that furthered the divide between the eastern and western bloc and left the Soviets in a steadily more diminished state. The same thing has continued to happen with third world and
emerging nations which has possibly put many countries permanently behind the eight-ball,” said Scrape TV International analyst Gustav Hander. “The only way for these nations to succeed is by participating with western nations. Whether it is water, food, or semi-conductors third world nations will have to participate with the rest of the world in order to succeed. For first world nations the problem is the opposite. In order to maximize profits they will have to exploit previously unexplored markets in order to stay competitive.”

In recent years Iranian missile technology has exploded with range and payload capability increasing exponentially. It is believed that the AMD partnership may pave the way for similar kinds of advances throughout the reason and in the rest of the developing world.

“The most positive aspect of this new relationship isn’t just the investment dollars and American jobs that will be preserved but the advances that will be accomplished in
the realm of global peace. By consolidating technology across the spectrum countries will gradually become equalized and one thing we have learned through the history of humanity is that when your enemy has the same weapons you will be a lot less likely to attack them, thereby creating world peace,” continued Hander. “By arming everyone you are ultimately freeing everyone and making a handy profit in the meantime so everyone ends up winning. Both AMD and Iran have had a lift in fortunes with this agreement and there’s no reason why the same can’t happen with countries like North Korea, Sudan, or Burma and make the world a safer and more profitable place.”

According to AMD officials there is no truth to the rumour that they plant to abandon consumer goods in favour of relationship agreements with countries. Chief AMD rival Intel has reportedly begun negotiations with Syria, Zimbabwe, and Chechnya.           

Martin Philton, Technology Correspondent

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