NEWS > TECHNOLOGY > APPLE DEVELOPING ICASKET AS STEVE JOBS TAKES SICK LEAVE

APPLE DEVELOPING ICASKET AS STEVE JOBS TAKES SICK LEAVE

January 16 2009

Cupertino, CA – Apple has never been a company that has caught on to trends. Has never been a company that has lucked into the right product at the right time. In its nearly 35 year history the company that Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak founded in a garage has always been a company that has created trends and manufactured demand. In short, they have always made their own future. That history makes the recent revelation of their newest product all the more ironic as CEO Steve Jobs prepares to take a six month leave of absence to recuperate from what some are speculating is a recurrence of the pancreatic cancer he developed in 2004.

Leaked documents indicate that the company was working on a revolutionary new form of burial designed to brand the afterlife with the Apple logo. Previous to his recent health problems Jobs was hard at work on a new project titled iCasket. While details of the project are scarce, insiders confirm that the newest member of the i family was being designed with all the bells and whistles of its relatives.

“Normally if an electronics company announced that they were designing a casket it would be seen either as joke or a gimmick to push some other product. Apple though doesn’t play that game. When they design something they design it to succeed. It’s hard to imagine what they had in store for a casket, but the idea is tantalizing,” said Scrape TV technology analyst Ken Kevins. “I’d guess that they’ll at least put it on hold until Jobs returns, if he returns. It’s not so much about the morbidity it’s about his presence and his force of personality. It is Apple so a certain amount of people will buy it without even thinking, but it just won’t be the same without the Jobs magic. Here’s to hoping he lives long enough to build his casket.”

No word yet if work on the iCasket will continue during Job’s absence. No word either if Jobs has plans to be buried in one of his own creations.

Kevins continued, “As far as what the specifics of the casket could be we can only really speculate. Obviously it would have some kind of creative interface and likely some kind of application of the genius system. Other than that I’d imagine it will look really nice and probably come in a series of different colours.”

“My only concern with the product is that it might be a little before it’s time. Forty years from now as the iPod generation starts to die it would probably be a big deal but right now it’s going to find limited acceptance. Young people still die, but the majority of them don’t think far enough ahead to pick out a casket. This could prompt that but are they going to be taking orders this far out? I can’t imagine they will be willing to hold onto product for that long, especially such large pieces. Plus this isn’t the kind of thing you can just throw together when it’s needed and death doesn’t exactly work on a regular production cycle. We’ll see if this comes to light. First things first though, Jobs needs to survive for this to do the same.”

Jobs health of course is just as much of a concern as the health of the company, two things that have been intertwined for a very long time but which has only recently become glaringly apparent.

Last August a mistaken obituary published by Bloomberg sent shivers through Wall Street and Apple fans, but that was nothing compared to later events. A false report on CNN’s iReport caused Apple stock to drop more than ten points on rumours that the CEO had suffered a massive heart attack. While the company quickly recovered in both instances, they both illustrated the degree to which Jobs and his company are integrated. Most see it as unlikely that the company would continue to thrive as it has if Jobs were to be placed inside one of his own creations.

“There are many clever and talented people working at Apple but Jobs is the heart and brains of the operation and without him there’s a lot of doubt that the company will be able to flourish in the same way,” concluded Kevins. “Granted, being buried in the iCasket would be the best advertisement ever and it would stir up the fan boys, but that doesn’t mean a lot for the mass market success. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Apple fanatics around the world offing themselves just to be buried in the casket, but regular people won’t be doing that. Without Jobs Apple will be in trouble, iCasket or no.”

Martin Philton, Technology Correspondent

NEWS > TECHNOLOGY > APPLE DEVELOPING ICASKET AS STEVE JOBS TAKES SICK LEAVE

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