HEADLINES

CINCO DE MAYO CELEBRATIONS ALLOWING MEXICANS TO REMEMBER HOW DRUNK THEY GOT LAST CINCO DE MAYO Albuquerque, N.M. – Every country has some kind of celebration revolving around the founding of the nation. Mexico is like every other country in that, honoring the rebirth of their nation every May 5, the day on which the country gained freedom from France way back in 1862.   FBI WORKING WITH TERRORIST GROUPS TO ENSURE PLOTS GO OFF WITHOUT A HITCH Washington, D.C. – It’s a dream, a fantasy perhaps, that terrorism will eventually go away. That somehow war and espionage will suddenly make the whole idea of terrorism simply vanish from the world. A dream, but one which a lot of people hold close to their hearts because in the end terrorism is quite scary.     9/11 PLOTTERS MAY BE SET FREE AFTER VICTIM LEFT OFF INDICTMENT New York, NY – There are no stories, well few stories, revolving around the events of 9/11 that have a positive ending. True, there are certainly tales of heroism and self-sacrifice, but for the most part the stories that came out of that infamous day are nothing but awful, terrible stories told thousands of times over.

AMERICAN ON HUNGER STRIKE IN BOLIVIAN PRISON LOOKING GOOD BUT REALLY CRAVING A BURGER La Paz, Bolivia – As it is for most people who end up in prison, it has to be an odd thing for Jacob Ostreicher to contemplate the course his life has taken to put him in this spot. While most people in prison live lives that seem to inevitably end up with them in that spot, that is certainly not the case for Ostreicher.   CALIFORNIA STICKS WITH OPPOSITE MONEY IN LATEST BUDGET Sacramento, CA – When most people think of California the first thing that comes to mind is wealth. The state is, after all, the home of Hollywood and Silicon Valley, possessing some of the most successful companies in the world and huge chunk of the wealthiest people.   TSA FINALLY STEPS OVER ITS OWN LINE WITH FULL MONTY SEARCH OF HENRY KISSINGER New York, NY – Few will debate the need for an agency like the TSA despite all the complaints against them. After all, terrorists, given the opportunity, would more than likely use planes to launch new attacks if given the opportunity. The TSA is the thing that prevents that, the first line of defence.

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