AMMUNITION STARTS TO VANISH ACROSS THE UNITED STATES

May 22 2009

Aurora, CO – Americans have long held to their guns, so much so that the right to bear and carry weapons was written into the founding document of the country. For many gun ownership is not only a right but an obligation of all Americans. Opponents of that philosophy though argue that the availability of guns increases the likelihood of
murder. It is unlikely that the argument between those two opposing viewpoints will be resolved anytime soon, but one thing about the gun debate that no one argues is that bullets are the most important part of the debate.

Modern bullets are usually metal projectiles propelled through the air at high speed after release from a firearm. Bullets are the traditional cause of death for most people involved in firearms and as such have become central to the debate. Now though it appears that ammunition has started to mysteriously disappear from across the country, perhaps fundamentally changing the gun debate forever.

“A gun is more or less useless without bullets. Sure you could bash people with the
butt end or poke them a bunch of times in the temple with the barrel but that kind of defeats the point of having a gun in the first place since you could do the same with a rock,” said Scrape TV International Arms Trade analyst Mohit Hattangady. “Guns can be expensive so rocks and even sticks would be a more reasonable solution if ammunition can’t be found. Plus you would get blood and brains all over the gun and that stuff just doesn’t come out easily. That aside, the bigger issue here is what are the pro and anti gun activists going to do once the ammunition completely dries up?”

Lobbying has long been a profitable business in Washington and the gun issue one of the biggest earners for decades. Organizations like the National Rifle Association have made their name on advocating for the right to bear arms, efforts that will go for naught should the bullet drought continue.

“There is of course the mystery of where all the bullets are going. Are pro-gun activists buying them all up out of concern of new legislation or an imminent attack from say Canada? Are anti-gun activists buying them all up to keep them out of the hands of gun owners? Perhaps bullets themselves have decided to abdicate from American society, though owing to the fact that they are inanimate objects that is highly unlikely,” continued Hattangady. “With bullets disappearing though America could be more vulnerable than ever. As we have seen in
the rest of the world having no guns is almost begging for an invasion from a foreign power. Once the rest of the world finds out that American bullets have been disappearing, countries will be climbing over each other to invade.”

Seen as the most likely conquerors are China, Russia, and the European Union with the latter am outside chance. It is expected that the northeast part coast of the country would be the first to fall with California and Texas collapsing to foreign rule shortly afterwards.

“There could be a multi-pronged attack on the country. China invades the Northwest,
Mexico takes the south, and Canada plunders the north east. It would really be a free
for all and if Americans can’t find their missing bullets or somehow produce more, there’s a very high likelihood that such a scenario plays out in the very near future,” continued Hattangady. “Fortunately the bullet situation isn’t nearly as dire in other countries and I’m sure that they would be more than willing to sell the Americans all they need. True the American dollar isn’t worth as much as it used to be, but it still has play especially if you can turn it over quickly. The good thing about bullets is that they are the same no matter what country they come from. Hopefully a large scale purchase will prevent the apocalypse from landing in America.”

As of this publication, no more bullets have been found in the wild.

Mike Michaels, American Correspondent

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