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NEWS > U.S.A. > US WORKERS SEEKING LOWER WAGES, MENIAL TASKS
US WORKERS SEEKING LOWER WAGES, MENIAL TASKS
March 8 2009
Washington, DC – In a study conducted early this month by the Department of Labor, the President was given his clearest picture yet of the economic crisis and how it’s affecting average workers. In the wake of the latest stimulus plan and the lack of confidence that that instilled in investors and the general public the outlook was appeared bleak. This latest report though indicates otherwise, showing that the majority of Americans are eager to take on low paying jobs, engaging in menial tasks, and reducing their standard of living, and all for the good of the country.
“This news no doubt comes as a great relief to the Obama administration which has been spending these first couple of months in power desperately trying to right this listing ship. While it’s clear that their efforts have yielded no significant gains what this report shows is that they don’t need to try so hard anymore,” said Scrape TV Business analyst Ken Green. “Whether it’s a result of desperation or a kind of self-realization by the American people that they no longer need the affectations they have become so used to, it now appears that the President and his team have a much easier road ahead of them.”
Amongst the most wanted jobs listed were fast food, retail, and custodial work. The report also indicted that more and more American workers were pursuing multiple part time jobs in an effort to create variety and increased energy at work.
“I found that I was getting bored at work, it had become monotonous and routine and I was sick of it without really realizing it. That day I received my pink slip was awful, but it has turned out to be great. I’ve lost my house and my wife and I are in the midst of separating but I’m no longer bored at work,” said James Walker who left his management job at AIG for positions at Wendy’s, Subway, and night janitor at his former offices. “I barely have time to breathe now and it’s so exciting. Its go go go and there’s always variety. I had no idea how bored I was getting until it was gone. I don’t even have time to sit and watch TV; of course I don’t have one anymore so that works out perfectly. I feel it’s my duty to do this to help the American economy get back on its feet.” 
With this new thinking in the American worker it’s expected that corporations will begin splitting high paying jobs and distributing them amongst multiple workers, reducing wages accordingly.
“There are potential disadvantages particularly the costs associated with training and insurance but if you are able to reduce employee wages drastically enough it could be worth the effort and allow these companies to stay afloat. I doubt very much we’ll see executives working part time and reducing their pay rates, but for the average worker and even managers this could be a new way of life,” continued Green. “There are a few disciplines that would suffer from the divided hours and mediocre pay such as doctors or police and at least in the short term those may be areas where full time employment with proper schooling and training should remain a
requirement. As much enthusiasm as many of these workers apparently have for this new worker’s ethos, inevitably as human beings we are prone to things like feelings of dispossession and disrespect which isn’t such a big deal when you’re serving burgers but is something else when you’re conducting brain surgery.”
Of course much of this falls in line with the philosophies and policies of the young Obama Administration whom many have accused of moving towards Socialism. With this recent report it appears that a move towards traditional communist ideals may have been something for which the American people have been longing.
“We won’t all be out working in the fields, well some of us will, but this marks a dramatic change in American thinking. People no longer seem to be interested in buying meaningless things but rather working for the betterment of the country,” continued Green. “I’m sure the Republicans in particular will have something to say about this but you can’t change the will of the people, well you can if the country goes full Communist, but for now it’s a little difficult.”
Mike Michaels, American Correspondent
NEWS > U.S.A. > US WORKERS SEEKING LOWER WAGES, MENIAL TASKS
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