CALIFORNIA MAN CHARGED AFTER BABY PROVES UNABLE TO FLY
April 21 2010
Santa Cruz, CA – Children are our lifeblood. They are our legacy and our reason for being. Humans have created art, philosophy, religion, and science, far more than any other species on the planet but in the end, we are exactly like them. We exist in order
to procreate. We fall in love, we have sex, we get married all as a prelude to having children and allowing them to carry on for the species after we are gone. Children are our reason for being.
That holds true across all species as well. Every parent in every species innately recognizes not only the need to breed but also to make sure that their offspring are healthy and happy and grow strong. Mother lions protect their cubs, teach them to hunt, and when they are ready send them off into the real world to make their own babies. Human beings, despite all our advances, are exactly the same. Of course, in many fundamental ways we are very different from other animals. We do not kill our food, we do not have to learn how to avoid predators, and for the most part, we do not fly, something a California man has discovered the hard way after tossing his infant daughter out of the window of a moving car.
“We had an incident early yesterday where an individual apparently pulled his car over to the side of the road, reached inside, grabbed his infant daughter and threw her onto the highway. The girl’s mother quickly retrieved her from the oncoming traffic. The child suffered multiple cuts to her various parts of her body,” said a spokesperson for the prosecutor’s office. “We expect the girl to fully recover from her injuries. We are charging the father with a number of charges including domestic battery and child endangerment. I cannot confirm or deny exact details of the case but we will confirm that the child was in no way capable of flight, gave no indications otherwise, and is not at fault in this incident.”
Most birds and certain types of fish are capable of flying through the air, naturally. Human beings require machines such as planes to accomplish the task of flight.
“For as long as human being s have been conscious it’s likely that we have sought flight in some capacity. Ancient tales tell of flight fantasies from way, way back but it is only the last hundred years or so that we have actually been able to take to the skies, but we are still limited by having to use machines,” said Scrape TV Crime analyst Willard Weston. “One day perhaps we will be able to fly without the aid of external devices but that is a long way off more than likely. My guess is this incident was a case of road rage and not something like the mother bird kicking the baby out of the nest to teach them to fly. There is no reason to assume that this child was somehow capable of flight.”
It’s not clear if we might someday sprout wings in an effort to fly or somehow overcome gravity like Superman.
“There’s really no way to predict the ways in which evolution will move. If I had to guess, I would guess that flight is low down on the list of things that nature has in store for us. After all, we have flying machines and so the need to fly independently has taken the back seat. Nature works with necessity, something which wings are not anymore,” continued Weston. “Perhaps if we ditch planes we might have a chance but it will still be decades, centuries even before something like that happens. In the case if this little girl I don’t think the hope of flight will be a viable defence. That has rarely gained much a foothold in the American judicial system, excepting the case of Wilson Vs Kendrick in Wisconsin.”
It’s believed that should the child grow up and develop the ability to fly she would also likely have super strength, resulting in a major beating for her father.
Mike Michaels, American Correspondent