CATHOLIC LEAGUE AMASSING ARMY TO KILL PRESIDENT OBAMA PLANS FOR CONTRACEPTION
February 8 2012
New York, NY – Religious extremist come in all shapes and sizes. While most of our impressions of such zealotry lives in the most extreme forms, people who slam planes into buildings or force people to drink poisoned Kool-Aid, but sometimes extremists come in far less extreme packages, though they can be just as explosive.
For many years one organization has practiced its own form of zeal throughout the United States, attacking everyone from entertainers to politicians for their actions, sometimes with no warning. The Catholic League has certainly made a name for itself, attaching itself to all types of high profile incidents, and undoubtedly building up their support base in the process.
Now, with all that power and personnel behind them, it appears that the League is going after the big dog, the most powerful person in America, by building an army and going after President Obama after he broke the final straw, forcing employers to pay for birth control. While it’s not yet clear how well manned or armed the organization is at this stage, it is believed that they are in the early stages of a full assault on Washington that will likely end in victory or death, more than likely the latter.
“Never before, unprecedented in American history, for the federal government to line up against the Roman Catholic Church. This is going to be fought out with lawsuits, with court decisions, and, dare I say it, maybe even in the streets,” said League leader Bill Donohue, a sentiment that while less militant has been the new rhetoric of the Catholic right.
The anger is over a provision that would require all employers, including religious organizations, providing health care to pay for contraception.
The plan has also drawn the ire of the Archbishop of New York, Timothy Dolan, who is unlikely to fight in the streets alongside the League.
“One can certainly understand why the Catholic would be so opposed to this particular component of the legislation and they certainly have the right to protest it, obligation really, that is an essential part of the democratic purpose. However, taking up arms against the government is something else entirely,” said Scrape TV Religion analyst Bertram Gas. “There are certainly times when doing something like that would be warranted but those are extreme times and that is not what we are experiencing here. This is a major issue for Catholics but not really for many other people and certainly not the type of issue that would warrant a revolution.”
It’s believed likely that the Catholic League has lots of guns and other weapons stored somewhere.
“We have seen a lot of revolution in the world over the last year but all of it has been for a very good reason, serious oppression and real trauma, not condoms and birth control pills. I think that that particular issue will have trouble gaining much ground, at least not enough to topple the U.S. government and presumably install a theocracy,” continued Gas. “Protest, yes. Rebellion, no. This is an issue they can get behind but not one worthy of an armed uprising. Hopefully they will see that before they go too far.”
It’s believed that U.S. forces would eradicate the Catholic league in a few hours.
Mike Michaels, American Correspondent