JARED LEE LOUGHNER TO PLEAD GUILTY IN HOPES OF GOING FREE AND GETTING APPLES
August 6 2012
Phoenix, AZ – With all the hubbub created when James Holmes went into that movie theatre and killed all those people a few weeks ago it’s easy to forget that other mass shootings have happened. In fact, one occurred not that long ago and not that far away, just a state over in Arizona where Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was nearly killed.
That shooting, conducted by Jared Lee Loughner, killed 13 people and wounded another five including Giffords is finally going to trial. Now Loughner is apparently growing anxious with his current status in prison and would prefer to get the trial over with, presumably so he can get on with his life.
According to officials, Loughner is ready to plead guilty instead of pleading insanity, a move that really is the best evidence yet that he is a crazy loon. It’s not clear if Loughner feels that admitting his guilt will allow people to forgive him and let him go free but if he does then he is clearly just as crazy as everyone assumes he is. Loughner has also reportedly asked for apples at his trial, though not to eat, just to keep him company.
“Any agreement to accept the plea would require Loughner to serve a sentence of life in prison. If Loughner were to stand trial, he could face the death penalty if convicted,” said a federal official. “The terms of any plea agreement are still being worked out, and it's not clear whether he would plead guilty to all the charges in the federal indictment or only some of them.”
It’s not clear if Giffords, who has since retired from Congress, has any opinion on the matter. She does apparently like apples but just wishes her husband would stop stealing them from her bed.
Loughner has been undergoing mental health care since the shooting because the boy quite clearly isn’t right in the head.
“It would be nice I guess for everyone if he would just admit his guilt but I think things might change if they can get it through to him that admitting he did it will not set him free. It’s great that he wants to come clean but you don’t let people out when they do things like this no matter how much you want to reward honesty,” said Scrape TV Crime analyst Willard Weston. “Loughner is dangerous, no two ways around it, and if he is free it’s likely he will kill and kill and kill unless someone shoots him dead and that is just not the type of thing you want to have going on.”
It’s not clear if Loughner has killed anyone in his mind since being jailed.
“There is of course a big difference between being crazy and being insane. If they can determine that Loughner is not insane then this plea thing will work for them. I think though that it will be a rude awakening for him, realizing that it’s not going to allow him to go free. That just isn’t something they can do really,” continued Weston. “Maybe if this were Mexico, though to be fair he probably wouldn’t have even been arrested in Mexico. It was only thirteen people after all. This has nothing to do with Mexico though, stop getting off the tracks. Stupid brain.”
Loughner has reportedly been prompted to this decision by a bag of oranges which act as his personal advisor.
Mike Michaels, American Correspondent