NUCLEAR BOMB FACILITY ON ALERT AFTER TERRORIST NUN BREACHES SECURITY
August 3 2012
Oak Ridge, TN – The idea of living in post-9/11 world is something that has been driven and battered since that fateful and dramatic day now nearly eleven years past. Some things have changed, no doubt, but for the most part those changes have become the new norm. That is the way most changes eventually end up going.
In some places those rules, the rules created while the Twin Towers were still smoking, have been relaxed at least a little. In others, perhaps too much. That focus on the rules, one would assume, would be very tough indeed art facilities housing actually nuclear weapons but that does not appear to be the case.
In fact at one facility in Tennessee it appears that the rules have become so relaxed, so accustomed to southern hospitality, that anyone who wants to come visit some of the nation’s nuclear weapons supply can do so, something a bunch of ant-nuclear activists, which included a nun, found out the easy way by just walking right into the facility.
“It was obviously a pretty serious incident. We're taking this very, very seriously,” said officials for the security agency that watches over the Oak Ridge facility.
That facility is the only one the country designated to handle weapons-grade uranium, the stuff that makes making nuclear bombs a snap.
It’s not clear if the protestors got their hands on any nuclear material or what, exactly, a nun would want with a nuclear bomb.
In total, three activists entered the facility and were later escorted out after it was discovered they had lost their tickets which can be purchased at the box office and Ticketmaster.
“I think anytime civilians get within spitting distance of nuclear material, like real nuclear material, the kind that could be used to destroy cities, you have to kind of step back and think that maybe, just maybe things have gotten a little lax. You want some degree of openness to be sure but giving people complete and total access to nuclear arms is a little much I think,” said Scrape TV Atomic analyst Mikhail Simpson. “I realize this is the South and people down there really have a spirit of openness and are just real friendly almost all the time but there are probably times that you have to put that aside even if you risk being a little rude. I think when it comes to preventing a nuclear apocalypse people can forgive a little rudeness.”
In the wake of the incident, officials temporarily shut down tours of the facility but are offering pecan pie for disappointed visitors.
“In this case we are talking about real, serious material. Not only is it dangerous for the activists but it is also dangerous for the world, having all that material out there. I guess the only comfort we have there is that there is no way people in Tennessee would allow dark skinned people into the facility which is perhaps the only time racism is really effective,” continued Simpson. “Of course people can still slip by, as these people did, and you don’t want those kinds of holes in your security because eventually everyone could sneak in and then everyone has access to nuclear material and there are bombs everywhere which, frankly, only a looney would think is a good idea. It’s probably time for them to rethink their security protocols.”
Officials have not decided when, or if, the facility will reopen to the public.
Mike Michaels, American Correspondent