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NEWS > U.S.A. > ALASKANS EXCITED TO FINALLY BE A PART OF THE UNION

ALASKANS EXCITED TO FINALLY BE A PART OF THE UNION

October 29 2008

Anchorage, AK – With Governor Sarah Palin a part of so much of the public’s consciousness Alaskans are starting to see themselves in a whole new light. No more are Alaskans seeing themselves as outcasts or somehow separate from the rest of the country, Alaskans are finally seeing themselves as part of the United States.

“You have no idea how difficult it is for most Alaskans to see themselves as a part of the country sometimes. Sure we have flags, but we are up here all alone with foreign countries on all sides. It just feels like we are all alone sometimes,” said Bernard Lasker, spokesperson for the Alaska Identity Group. “My wife is a geography teacher and the stories she comes home with about students not understanding why Alaska is on a separate part of the map. It’s more than just a practical thing, to many it feels like exclusion from the union. We know we aren’t Canadian as much as we have in common, but we don’t feel totally American either. It’s an odd thing being an Alaskan with a foot in two worlds.”

It’s not only individuals who seem to feel this way; lawmakers have long attributed crime rates in the ‘Land of the Midnight Sun’ to the perception of isolation.

“The feeling of not belonging is a strong sentiment among many here, and that feeling can lead to issues of isolation. When an individual feels he or she does not belong to a greater entity, nihilism fills the void, which leads inevitably to crime,” said Doctor Sandra Tompkins of the University of Alaska. “Being that we have such a small population spread over such a wide area the actual crimes rates are low, but if that were not the case we might have one of the highest rates in the country. As many ups and downs as the governor has given us, the one thing she has done is made us feel as though we belong. Hope that even an Alaskan can grow up to screw up the chance of being president.”

Of course Alaska isn’t the only isolated state in this election. With Barack Obama having been born in Hawaii both of the no-contiguous states are fully represented for the first time in a Presidential race. The race that has brought both a Black man and a woman to so close to the highest office in the nation os proving to be more of a unifying event than any could have imagined.

“For the first time the United States seems like a union. Despite the massive economic crisis and the failing wars around the world, Americans have a chance at unity, however superficially the form might take, like they never have before,” said Scrape TV political analyst Gabriel Kinsey. “Even John McCain was born in the Panama Canal zone. Only Joe Biden was actually born in on the mainland, and of course he was born in Pennsylvania, the heart of American independence. That’s actually a bit of a mixed message, but if you throw enough stuff at the board someone will draw some kind of meaning from it.”

But while Hawaii has long been accepted as a part of the United States, due no doubt to its beauty and tropical clime, Alaska has continued to remain isolated until now.

“Our page on Wikipedia has been locked. That’s when you know you’ve made it,” continued Dr. Tompkins. “There are only a handful of states that have their pages locked to prevent vandalism. When someone wants to deface information about you, you know you’ve been taken in as a part of the group. Finally, we’ve come into our own.”

Alaska celebrates its Fiftieth year in the union next year. US party planning officials had no comment on any plans for the state.   

Mike Michaels, American Correspondent

NEWS > U.S.A. > ALASKANS EXCITED TO FINALLY BE A PART OF THE UNION

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