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NEWS > U.S.A. > U.S. CLAIMS RUSSIA INVADED GEORGIA TO GAIN CONTROL OF BIGFOOT

U.S. CLAIMS RUSSIA INVADED GEORGIA TO GAIN CONTROL OF BIGFOOT

August 15 2008

Washington D.C. – The United States has had a complicated reaction to the Russian invasion of Georgia and understandably so considering the delicate balance that exists in the region. Government officials are now claiming that the invasion may have actually been sparked by some faulty intelligence on the part of the Russians. With the recent revelation of the Bigfoot discovery in Georgia, some politicos are drawing some new conclusions.

The revelation of a possible Bigfoot discovery in rural Georgia has sent shudders of excitement throughout the country and government officials apparently not immune to the furor. The theory that Russian intelligence had heard of the potential discovery a week earlier than anyone else, and that prompted their violent assault against Georgian forces, has been gaining ground of late throughout Washington corridors.

“Russian intelligence isn’t what it once was,” said an insider. “Everyone in Washington knows that. That is both a blessing and a serious problem for the administration. While it’s great that there is very unlikely that there are spies in our country, it does present situations where they may act on half truths and incomplete information. A lot of people have been whispering this for a number of years. Some think that the situation here might be a product of that problem. The concern of course isn’t Georgia, but only what it represents. I understand too that even the President is concerned about this situation, especially in respect to the Bigfoot. He’s apparently liked the Bigfoot since he was a kid.”

Russian officials have stuck to the original claim for the assault in South Ossetia; that the Georgians invaded the territory and they were forced to react. The assertion that the assault may have been a cover was laughed off.  Officials have repeatedly stated that the intelligence they acted upon was correct. Those assurances though are not enough for many in the capitol.

“There are some people who still don’t trust the Russians no matter what they do. The cold war has been over for years but some of the hawks still see them as a major threat,” continued our insider. “It would have been a big coup for them to have found a Bigfoot, present that to the world. Most people suspect that somewhere along the line they realized they had the wrong Georgia and had to develop an exit strategy. They have to keep up the fight to keep face. It would be very embarrassing if it came out that their intelligence people couldn’t read a map.”

While there remains no hard evidence of a link between the two events, nor any evidence that the Bigfoot actually does exist, Washington officials still hold the high ground.

“Either way they are very happy. They get moral high ground over the Russians, and they can claim that the Bigfoot is one hundred per cent American. They see it as a win-win no matter what the truth might be.”

Mike Michaels, American Correspondent

NEWS > U.S.A. > U.S. CLAIMS RUSSIA INVADED GEORGIA TO GAIN CONTROL OF BIGFOOT