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tom clancy dead

RADICAL PRO-IMMIGRATION ENVIRONMENTALIST LIBERAL AUTHOR TOM CLANCY DEAD AT 66

October 2 2013

Baltimore, MD – The king of the modern spy thriller is no more. Tom Clancy, who wrote dozens of novels and inspired hit movie and video game franchises, died last night at the age of 66 in a Baltimore hospital. The cause of death has not been released by speculation rests on Clancy’s heart being just getting too big to bear all the pain that exists in the world.

“We are gutted at this loss and grieving deeply,” said a family source. “Tom was more than just patriarch and more than just an author. He was a deeply loving and caring man and he will be missed. We hope that his work to aid immigration, support marriage equality, support co-ops, to support sustainable power and food generation, and of course healthcare for everyone will live on past his death. That is what he would have wanted.”

Clancy’s body, as per his wishes, will be ground down and used as fertilizer in a patch of daisies near his Baltimore home.