NEWS > BUSINESS > U.S. EMBASSY TO RELEASE SERIES OF 'GUARDS GONE WILD' VIDEOS

U.S. EMBASSY TO RELEASE SERIES OF 'GUARDS GONE WILD' VIDEOS

September 2 2009

Kabul, Afghanistan – Life in the military has never been easy. From the earliest days of organized human conflict being in the service of one’s country has often been a thankless and frequently soul crushing experience. Though the glory of war draws
many men and women to the cause the harsh reality of dull and redundant jobs much like that they would find in the private sector takes hold, leaving many to either leave as soon as possible or attempt to find anything to alleviate the boredom.

The rituals of military relaxation have long been documented in fiction and real life accounts from veterans. Though many of those have involved gang rape and wanton murder and destruction of entire villages, the modern military has evolved with the times. The recently released photos of embassy guards in Afghanistan engaging in unbridled parties fuelled y alcohol and boredom. Inspired by the highly successful series of ‘Girls Gone Wild’ videos that have sold millions across the world with their depictions of young, partially clad women the U.S. Embassy has decided to release the videos of their own wild parties in the hope of capturing the attention of a whole new audience.

“One email from a current guard describes scenes in which guards and supervisors are 'peeing on people, eating potato chips out of (buttock) cracks, vodka shots out of (buttock) cracks (there is video of that one), broken doors after drnken (sic) brawls, threats and intimidation from those leaders participating in this activity,” said a report from an oversight committee. “Photograph after photograph shows guards -- including supervisors -- at parties in various stages of nudity, sometimes fondling each other. These parties take place just a few yards from the housing of other supervisors. We recommend bringing these videos to market as soon as possible as it will provide a unique opportunity to engage a young audience in
ways that we have not yet pursued in the past. The opportunity to show young men and women that the military can party will undoubtedly bring more interest to the services.”

Despite the economic decline enrolment in various branches of the military has been on the decline in recent years, largely due the ongoing conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan bringing the real possibility of conflict and fighting. Most of the guards are Ghurkhas from Nepal and India, people well known for their partying ways.

“The one major disadvantage that I see with releasing these videos is the fact that many of the people involved are not American. The videos may do well in certain parts of the world but to really have an impact you need to access the college age kids in the United States which will be difficult with all of those brown faces,”  said Scrape TV Military analyst Michael Kent. “Luckily there were some regular Americans
involved and they could be cut in such a way as to focus on them. It really is the perfect recruiting tool. For years the military has used patriotism and things like self-respect to try and convince people to join the military and that works for a segment of the population. To reach critical mass though you need to show that the military can party, which this will do.”

Though still in the early stages of development the military apparently plans to use the proceeds from the sale of the videos to finance new and more elaborate productions.

“The military has always been perceived as a little stiff and a little dull and this will shake that up pretty significantly. For a lot of people the traditional military r and r like rape and murdering civilians just isn’t all t hat appealing, or at least not as appealing as drinking shots from another guys butt. This could mark a paradigm shift in the military and in the war on terror,” continued Kent. “Again though they will have to get a lot more American boys on video. Partying is partying but they will want to see people that look like them and that will get them really excited about life in the military.”

Embassy officials have reportedly flown ‘Girls Gone Wild’ producer Joe Francis to Kabul to get the benefits of his experience.

William Ashford, Business Correspondent

NEWS > BUSINESS > U.S. EMBASSY TO RELEASE SERIES OF 'GUARDS GONE WILD' VIDEOS