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SCRAPE TV NEWS STAFF
Editor-in-Chief
Dave Dalkin
Business
William Ashford
Health
Lauren Hebert
U.S.A.
Mike Michaels
Everyone Else
Emil Uliya
Science
Anna Phillips
Sports
Alexi Orton
Videogames
Douglas Havermore
Politics
Edward Bastil
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Technology
Martin Philton


 

 


 

 

 

 

HEADLINES
FROM THE PAGES OF THE LARUE LISTENER

SERBIAN GENERAL MLADIC GETS LAST LAUGH ON SURVIVORS DURING TRIAL

TSA FINALLY STEPS OVER ITS OWN LINE WITH FULL MONTY SEARCH OF HENRY KISSINGER

GEORGE W. BUSH MAKES BOLD MOVE ENDORSING MITT ROMNEY FOR PRESIDENT

OBAMA TARGETING NASCAR WITH LATEST ECONOMIC ATTACKS

PRESIDENT OBAMA WORTH UP TO $10 MILLION DEAD OR ALIVE

BASHAR ASSAD SAYS SYRIANS ARE DYING TO IMPLEMENT NEW REFORMS
NEWS BRIEFS
MCNAMEE TESTIFIES THAT ROGER CLEMENS LIKED IT IN THE BUTT, THE STEROID INJECTIONS THAT IS
ROBERT DOWNEY JR. GETS A PITIFUL $50 MILLION FOR ‘THE AVENGERS’
ISRAEL DIDN’T REALLY WANT TO COME TO WAR GAMES ANYWAYS
GREEK BANKS ENDURE MASSIVE RUN ON IOU NOTICES
TUPAC WAS APPARENTLY IN LOVE WITH VERSACE BEFORE HIS DEATH
JUSTIN BIEBER SAYS KIM KARDASHIAN WORKS REALLY HARD SO SHE DESERVES EVERYTHING SHE HAS AND STUFF
MANNY PACQUIAO DECIDES TO LET THE GAY PEOPLE OF THE WORLD SURVIVE, FOR NOW
ACTOR NICK STAHL MISSING BUT NOT REALLY MISSED

TOP STORIES


Politics U.S.A. Everyone Else

THE LAST REMAINING GAY REPUBLICAN DITCHING ROMNEY FOLLOWING MARRIAGE COMMENTS

BIDEN APPARENTLY FORCED OBAMA INTO GAY MARRIAGE ACCEPTANCE

AMERICAN ON HUNGER STRIKE IN BOLIVIAN PRISON LOOKING GOOD BUT REALLY CRAVING A BURGER

CALIFORNIA STICKS WITH OPPOSITE MONEY IN LATEST BUDGET

SYRIAN SECURITY FORCES MAKE FUNERAL A PARTY AFTER OPENING FIRE

NORTH KOREAN WOMEN SOLD INTO SLAVERY IN CHINA THANKFUL FOR BETTER LIFE

Health Science Business

AS KODAK GOES UNDER, EXPERTS RAISE CONCERNS ABOUT NUCLEAR WEAPONS STOCKPILE

BERKSHIRE AND WARREN BUFFETT PRETTY SATISFED WITH DOUBLED PROFITS

Technology Sports Video Games

AL GORE FINALLY RECONIZED FOR INVENTING THE INTERNET WITH HALL OF FAME INDUCTION

FACEBOOK LOOKING TO LEAVE THE U.S. AHEAD OF IPO

MICHAEL PHELPS PLANS TO RETIRE AND CREATE BONG KINGDOM AFTER LONDON OLYMPICS

MINNESOTA HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES APPROVES NEW VIKINGS STADIUM FOR SOME BIZARRE REASON

Entertainment Future Retractions

JOHN TRAVOLTA FIGHTS THIRD SEX ASSAULT CLAIM BY HAVING SEX WITH HIS WIFE FOR FIRST TIME IN YEARS

IF HE WAS STILL ALIVE MICHAEL JACKSON WOULD PROBABLY KILL RANDY JACKSON

REVAMPED GUANTANAMO BAY STILL SEEKING OCCUPANTS

CLEVELAND VOLCANO SHOWS SIGNS OF IMMINENT ERUPTION

TAXPAYERS TO PAY FOR NEXT INSTALMENT OF THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS FRANCHISE