News Briefs
Politics
U.S.A.
Everyone Else
Health
Science
Business
Technology
Sports
Video Games
Entertainment
Future
Retractions
Humour
News Home
News Archive

 

 

 

 

 





 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


SCRAPE TV NEWS STAFF

Editor-in-Chief
Dave Dalkin
Business
William Ashford
Health
Lauren Hebert
U.S.A.
Mike Michaels
Everyone Else
Emil Uliya
Science
Anna Phillips
Sports
Alexi Orton
Videogames
Douglas Havermore
Politics
Edward Bastil
Entertainment
Samantha Dryden
Technology
Martin Philton


 

 


 

 

 

HEADLINES
FROM THE PAGES OF THE LARUE LISTENER

U.S. FORCES FINALLY START KILLING ALL BAD GUYS IN SYRIA

PENTAGON SURE SOUNDING A LITTLE SCARED OF ISLAMIC STATE AND ALL THEY DO

ISRAEL GOES AHEAD WITH GAZA CEASEFIRE, KINDA

ISRAEL GIVES A LITTLE BIT OF WARNING BEFORE DESTROYING APARTMENT BUILDING AND OTHER STUFF

OSCAR PISTORIUS DOES INDEED GET A LITTLE TIME IN PRISON
ISIL LAUNCHES FRESH ASSUALT ON KOBANE BECAUSE THEY REALLY, REALLY WANT IT
SWEDEN STILL LOOKING FOR THAT MISSING RUSSIAN SUB NO MATTER WHAT RUSSIA WANTS
OSCAR DE LA RENTA DEAD AND THE WORLD JUST KEEPS ON SPINNING
NIGERIA OFFICIALLY FREE OF EBOLA SO THAT’S ONE DOWN
TURKEY DECIDES TO HELP IN BATTLE OF KOBANE DESPITE ALL THE KURDS
PEYTON MANNING PASSES FOR MORE TOUCHDOWNS THAN ANYONE ELSE, OVERALL, NOT ALL IN ONE GAME
NOBODY ACTUALLY HELPING STOP EBOLA SPREAD IT SEEMS
OSCAR PISTORIUS APPARENTLY HAS NO MONEY LEFT BUT AT LEAST HE STILL HAS HIS LIFE AND STUFF
SOUTH KOREA KILLS ANOTHER LARGE GROUP OF STUDENTS IN ROOF COLLAPSE


LIFE SUPPORT DIVIDED AS TO WHETHER OR NOT TO MAINTAIN JOAN RIVERS MUCH LONGER
MILLIONS OF KIDS RELIEVED TO BE SENDING THEIR PARENTS BACK TO WORK
ISIL AGREES TO PEACE TALKS ONLY WITH PRESENCE OF 90’S HITMAKERS MR. BIG
EMMY PARTY ENDS WITH RITUAL SACRIFICE OF LOSERS FROM MULTIPLE CATEGORIES
POSITIVE RESPONSE TO NEW DOCTOR WHO PROMPTS PETER CAPALDI TO GET INTO SNORTING COKE
ISRAEL ADMITS PEACE TALKS BROKE DOWN IN PART BECAUSE SOMEONE REFUSED TO SHOWER
MILWAUKEE MAN SURE SITTING AT BURGER KING AT TWO IN THE MORNING NOT GOING TO RESOLVE GAZA CRISIS

TOP STORIES


Politics U.S.A. Everyone Else

THE U.S. ON THE VERGE OF DEBT DEFAULT YET AGAIN, IT NEVER CHANGES WITH THEM

OBAMACARE TO REDUCE U.S. WORKFORCE PROBABLY BECAUSE IT WILL KILL PEOPLE


Health Science Business

POPE FRANCIS SAYS NO ONE HAS DONE MORE TO STOP WIDESPREAD CHILD ABUSE IT HAS CAUSED THAN THE CHURCH

POPE FRANCIS ASKS FOR FORGIVENESS FOR ALL THAT SEXUAL ABUSE AND FORGIVENESS ALWAYS WORKS IN THE REAL WORLD


Technology Sports Video Games

DONALD STERLING NOW GOING TO TRY TO FIGHT SALE OF CLIPPERS, TODAY AT LEAST

FORMER NFL PLAYERS SUE LEAGUE BECAUSE THEY CHOSE TO USE DRUGS TO PLAY A LOT LONGER THAN THEY SHOULD HAVE


Entertainment Future Retractions

REVAMPED GUANTANAMO BAY STILL SEEKING OCCUPANTS

CLEVELAND VOLCANO SHOWS SIGNS OF IMMINENT ERUPTION

TAXPAYERS TO PAY FOR NEXT INSTALMENT OF THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS FRANCHISE