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NEWS > U.S.A. > CONFEDERATE REENACTORS PROMISE SECESSION IF OBAMA ELECTED

CONFEDERATE REENACTORS PROMISE SECESSION IF OBAMA ELECTED

October 6 2008

Atlanta, GA – A group of Civil war re-enactors have sworn to secede from the United States if Barack Obama is elected President. The actors are part of a local theatre group and predominately take up the side of the confederate army during local re-enactments.

“Barack Obama is the worst thing that can happen to this country. He was not what the founding fathers had in mind when they set up this country and we can’t allow it to happen,” said Dave Wilson, one of the re-enactors and a local mechanic. “We have fought all these years to bring the glory days of the South back by doing these re-enactments and all our hard work will not go to waste. We can’t have one of them in charge of this country and if we do, the south will secede. We have a plan.”

Wilson stated that the states of the original confederation are all a part of his plan. Those states include South Carolina, Mississippi, Florida, Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, and Texas. Wilson did not detail how he and his group planned to implement to secession.

“This was a country founded by a certain type of people and he is not one of them,” continued Wilson. “This isn’t a racist thing, this is about purity and keeping the country the way the founders intended it to be. No one named Barack Obama is going to be President of my United States.”

Pressed for further details of the plan, Wilson hung up the phone.

“It would be a difficult thing to try and engage secession in today’s world,” said Scrape TV political analyst Gabriel Kinsey. “Obviously slavery has been over for a long time and there’s a great deal more wealth in the black community. Add in the Hispanic population particularly in Florida and Texas and the conditions just aren’t the same. I would be interested in hearing how a small group of actors with no money and absolutely no political clout would even go about attempting something like this. I wouldn’t say doomed to failure, but it is very unlikely to succeed.”

Wilson’s group consists of thirty-five members for both sides of the re-enactments. It is unclear if the actors portraying the Union side would also be taking part in the secession attempt.

“Dave can do anything he wants, he just better make sure to return the clothes and muskets before he goes off on his little adventure,” said Martha Gibb, owner of the theatre the group operates from. “The guy is a little off and I don’t even think he’s registered to vote, but whatever. Personally I’m voting for Obama. I’m a business woman and my 401k has taken a beating. Good luck Dave.”

Democratic campaign officials did not return our calls. Republican officials responded enthusiastically. 

Mike Michaels, American Correspondent

NEWS > U.S.A. > CONFEDERATE REENACTORS PROMISE SECESSION IF OBAMA ELECTED

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