TOP STORIES

NIGERIA OFFICIALLY FREE OF EBOLA SO THAT’S ONE DOWN

 

POLICE OFFICIALS IN ALABAMA POINT OUT THEY HAVE NOT KILLED AN UNARMED BLACK TEEN IN YEARS NOW
HILLARY CLINTON PRESIDENCY BID MAY RELY ON SUCCESS OF FAILURE OR NEW YOUNG ADULT NOVEL
ISRAEL ADMITS PEACE TALKS BROKE DOWN IN PART BECAUSE SOMEONE REFUSED TO SHOWER
IOWA MAN SPENDS NIGHT RESEARCHING CONFLICT IN CENTRAL AFRICAN REPUBLIC IN EFFORT TO IMPRESS CO-WORKERS AT LUNCH

NEWS

SOLDIERS KILLED IN UKRAINE WHICH IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN YOU FIGHT IN A WAR

DUTCH EXPERTS EXAMINE MH17 CRASH VICTIMS TO DISCOVER EXACTLY WHAT THEY THOUGHT

ISRAEL GOES AHEAD WITH GAZA CEASEFIRE, KINDA

EU OFFICIALS REACH A VERY BASIC AGREEMENT ON POSSIBLE RUSSIAN SANCTIONS

NEWS

OBAMA READY TO FINALLY BOMB SYRIA WHICH HE HAS WANTED TO DO FOR SO LONG

FIGHTING IN GAZA CALMS DOWN A LITTLE WHICH IS SOMETHING PEOPLE CAN BE HAPPY ABOUT

UN SAYS ISRAEL MAY HAVE COMMITTED WAR CRIMES IN GAZA BUT OF COURSE WILL NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT

WHO SAYS EBOLA OUTBREAK VASTLY UNDERESTIMATED, THAT THEY HAVE VASTLY UNDERESTIMATED IT, THEY JUST HAVE NO IDEA NOW

NEWS

U.S. FORCES FINALLY START KILLING ALL BAD GUYS IN SYRIA

ISRAEL ADMITS ROCKET ATTACKS MAKING PEACE TALKS A LITTLE DIFFICULT

ISRAEL GIVES A LITTLE BIT OF WARNING BEFORE DESTROYING APARTMENT BUILDING AND OTHER STUFF

ON THE AIR

CUP OF JOE
(NOW PLAYING)

SOUTH KOREA KILLS ANOTHER LARGE GROUP OF STUDENTS IN ROOF COLLAPSE
ISIL TRAINING FIGHTER PILOTS SO THAT’S SOMETHING
OSCAR PISTORIUS APPARENTLY HAS NO MONEY LEFT BUT AT LEAST HE STILL HAS HIS LIFE AND STUFF
MISTY UPHAM GAINS WAY MORE FAME IN DEATH THAN SHE HAD IN LIFE
SAN FRANCISCO THE OTHER TEAM GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES
EVERYONE OFFICIAL STILL TELLING PEOPLE EBOLA OUTBREAK IN WEST IS UNLIKELY BUT OF COURSE NO ONE BELIEVES THAT
HONG KONG LEADER HOPES TO TALK TO PEOPLE NOW THAT THEY GOT IT OUT OF THEIR SYSTEMS
KANSAS CITY ROYALS MAKE IT TO THE WORLD SERIES AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER TEAMS DO NOT
PENTAGON SAYS IT HAS KILLED HUNDREDS OF ISIL FIGHTERS BUT THAT IS NOT NEARLY ENOUGH, NOT EVEN CLOSE
IRAN SAYS NUCLEAR TALKS PROGRESSING SOMEWHAT IN THE WAY THEY WOULD LIKE
RUSSIAN AND UKRAINIAN LEADERS TALK ABOUT ACTUALLY RESTORING PEACE IN EASTERN UKRAINE
EBOLA APPARENTLY STILL WINNING AND GOING TO KEEP WINNING FOR THE TIME BEING
EVERYONE DECIDES IT’S BEST TO JUST LOCK AMANDA BYNES AWAY FOREVER