TOP STORIES

CANADA TO EXPAND ISIS STRIKES WHICH SHOULD SCARE THEM A WHOLE LOT

 

LIFE SUPPORT DIVIDED AS TO WHETHER OR NOT TO MAINTAIN JOAN RIVERS MUCH LONGER
HILLARY CLINTON PRESIDENCY BID MAY RELY ON SUCCESS OF FAILURE OR NEW YOUNG ADULT NOVEL
ISRAEL ADMITS PEACE TALKS BROKE DOWN IN PART BECAUSE SOMEONE REFUSED TO SHOWER
IOWA MAN SPENDS NIGHT RESEARCHING CONFLICT IN CENTRAL AFRICAN REPUBLIC IN EFFORT TO IMPRESS CO-WORKERS AT LUNCH

NEWS

SOLDIERS KILLED IN UKRAINE WHICH IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN YOU FIGHT IN A WAR

DUTCH EXPERTS EXAMINE MH17 CRASH VICTIMS TO DISCOVER EXACTLY WHAT THEY THOUGHT

ISRAEL GOES AHEAD WITH GAZA CEASEFIRE, KINDA

EU OFFICIALS REACH A VERY BASIC AGREEMENT ON POSSIBLE RUSSIAN SANCTIONS

NEWS

OBAMA READY TO FINALLY BOMB SYRIA WHICH HE HAS WANTED TO DO FOR SO LONG

FIGHTING IN GAZA CALMS DOWN A LITTLE WHICH IS SOMETHING PEOPLE CAN BE HAPPY ABOUT

UN SAYS ISRAEL MAY HAVE COMMITTED WAR CRIMES IN GAZA BUT OF COURSE WILL NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT

WHO SAYS EBOLA OUTBREAK VASTLY UNDERESTIMATED, THAT THEY HAVE VASTLY UNDERESTIMATED IT, THEY JUST HAVE NO IDEA NOW

NEWS

U.S. FORCES FINALLY START KILLING ALL BAD GUYS IN SYRIA

ISRAEL ADMITS ROCKET ATTACKS MAKING PEACE TALKS A LITTLE DIFFICULT

ISRAEL GIVES A LITTLE BIT OF WARNING BEFORE DESTROYING APARTMENT BUILDING AND OTHER STUFF

ON THE AIR

CUP OF JOE
(NOW PLAYING)

THE PEOPLE OF ISRAEL DECIDE THEY STILL HATE NETANYAHU LESS THAN EVERYONE ELSE
FAMILY OF MARVIN GAYE GETS WHAT THEY WANTED, MONEY, LOTS OF IT
FANS WANT JEREMY CLARKSON BACK NO MATTER WHAT HE DID TO ANYONE
AARON SCHOCK DECIDES HE NO LONGER NEEDS TO SPEND TAXPAYERS MONEY ON FRIVOLOUS THINGS
RUSSIANS MAY HAVE FORCED NEMTSOV MURDER CONVICTION BECAUSE IT’S JUST EASIER THAT WAY
JIHADI JOHN FINALLY NAMED BUT YOU PROBABLY DON’T KNOW HIM
MADONNA FALLS OFF STAGE AT AWARDS SHOW AND DOESN’T BREAK A HIP THIS TIME
OBAMA FAR LESS IMPRESSED WITH NETANYAHU’S IRAN SPEECH THAN NETANYAHU IS
TRIAL OF BOSTON BOMBER BEGINS, REALLY A LITTLE LATE TO SAVE ANYONE
UKRAINE STARTS HEAVY WEAPONS WITHDRAWAL LIKE THEY ARE PUSSIES OR SOMETHING
APPARENTLY NETANYAHU JUST HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE’S TALKING ABOUT WITH IRANIAN NUCLEAR PROGRAM
BRIAN WILLIAMS TO TAKE SOME TIME OFF TO THINK OF NEW STORIES
SONY FINALLY COMES TO THE REALISATION THAT THEY JUST CAN’T MAKE GOOD SPIDER-MAN MOVIES